Let's be more than this
by iSTAYiNLOVEWiTHYOU
Summary: Miley and Nick have always felt pure hatred towards one another, yet they share the same best friend. Tune in to see what happens. : Rating may be changed to M.
1. Chapter 1

**Guysss. In this story, Joe, Kevin and Nick aren't brothers. NICK GRAY. JOE ADAMS. KEVIN DELEASA. MILEY STEWART. Kay? ; ] Hope you like ittt.**

Find something better to do than report this, okay?

Chapter 1

"I love you Joe, but I hate your choice of friends" I explained to my thoroughly confused friend, why I avoided him at all costs during school when I wasn't in a lesson with just him, or why I never agreed to meet him outside school unless it was on my terms.

"But you're my best friend," he argued.

"I chose **you**, you didn't stand a chance," I tilted my head up and pecked my lips against his cheek. He was walking me home, despite it being a full twenty minutes out of his way. That was how desperately he wanted to ask me that question.

"But you like Zac and you don't seem to mind Jason or Kevin..."

"Oh, did I say plural?" I fluttered my eyelashes innocently.

"So it's just Nick?"

"Yes"

"Nick Gray who all girls adore?"

"Yep, that one."

"Nick Gray who you have a fat crush on and want to jump?"

I saw what he was trying to do. Clever for Joe if that was the case.

"Nope, not that one. Definitely the one I _despise_ enough to wish ill-fortune on."

Joe sighed, looking defeated. He pushed his glasses up from halfway down his nose and seemed to lose interest in pestering me. We fell into a silence, but I was with Joe, so I was already waiting for him to cut the absence of speech short.

"So it's actually **not** sexual tension?" Joe asked

I sighed, meeting with his eyes. Hoping mine clearly showed my increasing agitation. "It isn't even that. Pure hatred."

"Damn," Joe snapped his fingers "I was hoping you two could be the key characters in a moving trashy romance novel."

I laughed, knowing he wasn't even joking. He was too lame in that type of way. He really did eat liters of Ben and Jerry ice cream in front of classic films after a break up, he genuinely wants me and Nick to realize we don't detest each other and that we want to screw each other senseless and he definitely cares about Paris Hilton's episodes too much.

"When you get home, turn on the TV and I bet you'll see what you're looking for in fiction. There is a place for fiction and the only place you find it in reality Joe, get this, is fictional sources."

"When you say smart things like that, worded so nicely too, it actually puts me right in the mood," Joe wiggled his eyebrows suggestively

I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm playfully. We stopped walking by a patch of grass with a solitary tree in the middle of the island surrounded by tarmac. We looked at each other, then sat down in unison, knowing it wasn't quite time to go our separate ways yet. Joe loosened his tie and undid his top button on his standard uniform shirt. I just removed the blue blazer that was the vain of my school life, exposing my rosy porcelain arms to the gentle sun rays.

"Seriously though Mi, you and Nick are very similar,"

"What's with all the Nick talk Joe?" I groaned, growing extremely tedious of the seconds of my life that were being contaminated by the mentioning and the thought of him.

"You're my two closest friends. It makes life easier if you two could just get along." he paused "Did you know that Nick shares your love for music and written text?"

I snorted in disbelief. "I'm sorry, but I doubt it." Somebody so self resolving as him couldn't have the same appreciation or gratitude for something as beautiful and complex. The only beautiful thing he likes is what he sees in mirrors and the girls that throw themselves at his feet.

"I don't know what your opinion of him is based on, but you don't give him half the credit he deserves." Joe continued to press the situation. The way he was talking, he should have been wearing a "**I NJG**" badge.

"Do you say the same to him about me? He isn't exactly welcoming to me is he? I don't see him being a civil human being to me."

Joe turned his head away from my questioning glance. This told me he didn't anyway. Probably because he knew Nick was a lost cause to change his opinions. Well, so am I when it comes to _that_ boy.

"I better get home Joe. I need to attend to my siblings." I bent over and kissed his cheek before getting up and dusting off my skirt from any grass strands that might have attached themselves to the fabric. Double checking I had everything that belonged to me, I began to walk away from the boy still sitting.

I went up a pathway, leading to a house. I knocked twice, and threw a quick glance over my shoulder to the patch of grass. He had fell onto his back to stare at the sky. He would be there for another ten minutes at least.

The door opened and I stepped inside my house, kicking off my shoes immediately. I pushed the door to a close behind me and walked into the living room. Glued to the television screen were my sister and brother. No signs of movement from either of them. Not even bothering to give me acknowledgement. However they weren't bickering, so I wasn't in a position to complain.

I went up to the solitude of my room, where I could be alone with just my thoughts for the first time today. I flicked my computer on, and while I waited, I picked up my copy of _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ to read and annotate for revision notes. My phone rang. I expected to see Joe flashing on the screen, but it was Selena.

"Hey Sel."  
**"Hiya hun. You okay?"**  
"Yeah thanks, you?"  
**"That's good, are you still with Joe?"**  
"Errr, no."  
**"Oh. Alright. I have to go, my mom's calling me, Bye. Love ya."**

She hadn't fallen for Joe. She wasn't curious about him, but instead she sought as much information out about Nick as possible. I did believe it was Joe she liked for a short while, and was ecstatic since my male friend held a torch for her. Until her recent comment. _"You're so lucky to be close to Joe"_ "Why?" _"Because you can easily get close to Nick."_

Everybody but me adored him. Often I found myself searching for something remotely charming about him- but I've never succeeded. I find myself wanting to see what everyone loved about him, because like Joe said, life **would** be simpler.

We bickered. He tormented me. In fact, he is mostly in the blame for our "situation"

"Miley!" I heard Noah shriek from downstairs.

I ran, not knowing what to expect from the two of them being left alone. I have no doubt, that the two of them were capable of seriously harming each other.

But no. I flew down the stairs and she had no blood or scratch marks. In fact, Braison was still in the living room. Noah was waving around a piece of paper, before thrusting it into my hands.

_"What's the point? You're not listening."_

It was scrawled onto the scrap piece of lined paper. The only other thing on it was my name.

I folded it in half and clenched it in the palm of my hand. Pushing it to the back of my mind. I made a mental note not to dwell on it currently. I would wait until I received more things similar to it. I knew this wasn't a one-time thing. This was part of a jigsaw.

That's when I realized no idiot wrote it. Lyrically speaking, the words knitted together perfectly. It could possibly be the work of a genius.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I used to sit in the playground alone. On a bench, with a book. I was the only child aged 5-8 that chose to isolate themselves from the bosom of childhood games that were played during recess. Myself and one other child actually. We didn't see this as a similarity between us, and therefore we should talk to each other, no. I have no doubt in my mind that if one of us approached each other, we would have had a friendship that lasted. What stopped me was my own reservations, and my shyness. But also, at that age, I felt like I would have been intruding on their territory. I suspect that they had similar, if not identical, reasons to mine for not going over to me.

Sometimes I found myself looking over the top of my book in his direction. The truth was, he fascinated me. He was the only boy in my class that used the school library. In fact, every book I read had his name above mine. I didn't deliberately search for the books he'd took out, it was chance. Fate, perhaps?

Then we got older. Aged eleven, he became friends with the new boy. And so did I. Neither of us wanted to share our first best friend. Joe was lovely, even then. He just wanted us to get along with each other. He wanted us to be a trio. I didn't want to. After all the years of admiring him from afar- it changed as soon as the dynamics changed. I **loathed** him. I was extremely jealous, I couldn't look him in the face because it made me angry. However, I never once expressed my dislike for him, I didn't say a bad word about him, or to him.

_"Go away Miley. No girls involved."_ he said one day.

_"But I want to be with my friend,"_ I replied quietly, blushing.

_"Well he doesn't want to be with you and I certainly don't. So go away,"_ he smirked, even aged 12.

_"Joe, do I have to go?"_ I addressed my friend instead.

_"Well, he has wanted to tell me this for ageeeees now. We'll come straight over to you when we're done. Okay?"_

I felt knocked down and disgraced. The blush on my cheeks burnt more violently, I knew because I could feel the heat radiating from them. That's when I heard him mutter under his breath. I didn't catch what he said- but it didn't matter, because I had seriously had enough of him.

_"Go to hell Nick!" _I snapped, turning around and walking away from both of them.

That is where the hatred fueled from. If I told Joe that he would laugh at my pathetic excuse and force the two of us to like each other. It's too far gone to make amends. It's far too late to apologize for everything we've ever said to each other. We'll never get on. No matter how hard Joe tries.

Reflecting on Nick, **again**. I despised how my thoughts were always how much I despise him lately.

"Miley?" I heard Braison outside my door.

"Yeah?" I replied.

He took that as his cue to step into my bedroom. He was wearing a forlorn expression, the one he used whenever he just needed to talk about what was bothering him. It wasn't frequent, and I'm pretty sure I'm the only person he confides in this way. Sometimes it's trivial teenage stuff, occasionally it was major teenage circumstances and rarely it were problems out of a fifteen year olds control. He came and sat in the middle of my bed. I was on my window seat, but I moved closer to my little brother.

"How are you?" he asked politely. He always started the same way to remove focus from him- and he has manners any mother would be proud of.

"To be honest with you Brais, I'm not sure. I'm in that state of no emotion. I'm not happy, but I'm not sad. I'm just living." I told him, always being honest "how about you?"

"I don't know. I mean- where are mom and dad this time? What did we do wrong Miles? We are, in a sense, the kids parents dream to have. We're all top of the class, you and Noah are beautiful, we don't do anything illegal, have never once brought shame on them. What repels them from us?"

I was taken aback, stunned. Not knowing how to respond.

"Nothing Braison, absolutely nothing. It's nothing we've done, don't blame yourself. They are too selfish to be parents. Why they had you and Noah after me is anybody's guess. They, not to make you feel crap, care more about themselves than us. I don't know where they are, or how long they'll be, or why they've gone away. You have me Brais, and I won't let anything bad happen to you and Noah," I reached out to stroke his hair, he leant on my shoulder.

"You're only sixteen Miley," he said quietly.

"I know, but that is still older than you two," I smiled.

We stayed like that for awhile, until Braison was grinning again. My younger brother was possibly one of my best friends. Whereas Noah and myself are just sisters, not friends too. She rarely communicated with me or Braison.

"Miley! Joe's here."

Braison and I exited my room; he went across the hall into his own and I jogged downstairs, passing Noah as she made her way upstairs. Joe was waiting at the foot of the steps, when he saw me coming down he bowed extravagantly- offering me his hand. I laughed slightly, taking it. He escorted me down the last step then dove on top of him in a tight hug.

"Hi Joe," I giggled.

"Miley baby, I would like to apologize for yesterday's... whatever it was." he said, still holding me tightly.

"Ahh it's okay hun. Can we have a N and G free day though?"

Joe pulled back and made an "**a**" noise. Like my request was a problem. He was also bouncing up and down on his toes- he nervous habit. I prepared myself to ask what was wrong, but I heard footsteps from my kitchen, when everyone else in the household was upstairs. I looked over my shoulder to see a damn pretty boy leaning against the doorframe. I snapped my head to Joe, positive my eyes were flaming red.

"In my house!" I yelled, outraged.

"We needed somewhere to all meet. And your house is so big and perfect." Joe pouted.

"Joe lives like, two doors away. His house is identical to mine!" I argued.

"But you see Miley," I turned to look at Nick as he spoke "Joe's parents actually _give a crap_ about their kids."

My stomach tightened and I ran back upstairs to my room. I felt so betrayed, Joe must have told Nick about my life. My life which I'd only consoled to him about. And how could **anyone** be that malicious to use such a harmful statement? I hated him even more that I did previously. I lashed out, knocking over a photo frame containing Joe and myself in it. To say something like that in my own house?

That boy, was unbelievable

Joe's P.O.V.

"God Nick, what possessed you?" I rubbed my face in my hands.  
_  
"_I don't know Joe, okay?" he knocked his head againstthe closest wall.

"Could you not be civil to her? She has enough problems as it is."

"And I don't?" he scoffed.

"The difference Nick, is that Miley doesn't know you have problems- but you know she does. And she would never, **ever**, do what you just did."

"I know! I'm a terrible person. Okay? I'll admit it."

"But you aren't! I think that's what makes whatever it is between you 100x worse, 'cause you Nick, especially you, are nice to everybody. It's even more offensive that you're so cold. You are both so similar too." I was growing bored of Nick's attitude towards Miles. It really was about time it concluded.

"I know that. It's Miley who doesn't"

"And it's Miley who is suffering the most in this messed up drama" I snarled, before walking up the stairs to comfort my best friend. Although I knew right now she was hating me as much as she hated Nick. I only had myself to blame for telling someone things she'd told me in confidence. Nick though, was almost unforgivable.

"Miley babes," I tapped lightly on her slightly ajar door. Soft sobs escaped through the gap. I stepped inside to see her curled up on her bed. Sitting next to her would be too much, so I stayed where I was stood.

"You know when you were 5 and the boy who pulled your hair was the one that actually had a crush on you?" I said, barely above a whisper

She sniffed "whatever, Joe,"

"I'm sorry. And just think about that okay?"

Leaving her by herself was what she needed right now. My best chance of forgiveness was to wait until Monday rolled around. I was thankful to see that Nick had the sense to leave. As I passed through the hallway to the door, I noticed a slip of paper on the floor.

**"She`s got a smile that I dies for. Everyone knows that I`m a prisoner of war for her."  
**  
I read off it. Nick's writing. Nick's words. Nick opening up about his biggest secret. I knew what the words meant. Miley is a clever girl, she over analyses everything; she'd understand it in no time. I just wasn't sure if she'd connect it immediately to Nick.

I placed it back in the spot on the floor, which was conveniently close to the door so it looked like it had been pushed through the letterbox.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

It was too early in the morning, yet in 10 minutes school would officially begin. I trudged down the basically empty corridor to my locker. I had to retrieve a few things for my first lesson. I opened it, and out fell a slip of paper.

I grinned, instantly recognizing the handwriting.

_"Dreamers, you see everything in colour, while the world is getting darker. Love is on its way"_

I read it twice before putting it in my back pocket. This person wanted to tell me something, and they must attend this school for a note to be in my locker. The words though, were it about myself or themselves? I'm still sure Joe is linked to it somehow, but it's not him. His writing ability is poor.

"Hey Miles" Miranda Gray greeted me as she opened her locker, conveniently three away from mine.

"Oh, hiya. You okay?" I smiled at her politely. She was a year junior to me and I didn't like hated her brother. Conversation was limited to basics.

"Yeah I'm brilliant thanks. Rough weekend though, Nick didn't come home until late on Sunday."

"Oh?" I realized that I couldn't even try to sound slightly concerned by what she said. Miranda, however, didn't notice or chose to skim over my known dislike for her sibling.

"I know, it's just that Saturday him and the boys were going to hang out at your house..." she thought something happened between myself and Nick - a truly hideous thought.

"Trust me, I did not choose to be in a centimeter radius of him. And the prat ended up insulting me in my own home before leaving. All this was around 3:25 on Saturday afternoon Miranda."

Her lips formed a genuine smile. Her eyes that were similar to her brother's, lit with a spark that his lacked. Randa was an attractive girl. And I wasn't petty enough to deny her brother's own good looks - but not even his pretty exterior could mask his vulgar self from me.

"Anyway, I better head to registration. Talk to you later." I said, before walking away from her and my approaching so-called friend Joe Adams, who had just noticed me before I turned away.

"MILEYY!!! Waaaait!" he yelled, and I could hear footsteps running towards me. I quickened my own pace to avoid the apology speech, which I would obviously accept. All I wanted was a few more seconds of anger which had a descent reason backing it. I felt his hand grip my shoulder. I halted and turned to face him, looking up and waiting.

"I'm so sorry. I told him but I had to try and make him be nice to you and understanding about why you struggle accepting people and to make him feel better because he has similar problems to you believe it or not Miley and I would tell you but it's slightly worse. The situation he is in and you have to understand that he really, really does like you." he said without a pause for breath or even a tumble over a word.

My eyes were locked on his puppy dog eyes, pleading silently. I groaned and fell into his chest. Admitting defeat. Joe physically relaxed and wrapped his arms around me. We broke away as floods of students began to seep through the school doors and we were right in the way of the corridor.

"You're not lying to me are you?" I asked.

"What part?"

I paused, realizing it applied to more than one aspect of what I'd just been told.

"Nick's problems. Are they really worse?"

"Don't get me wrong, I think it's awful how you're so neglected - but Nick's is possibly fifty times worse. He stays at mine to get away sometimes. Randa is mostly unaware though, so even though you don't know a great deal, keep it under wraps," Joe said in a hushed voice.

Suddenly I felt something other than hatred towards Nick. Pity. It wasn't sympathy, that required the added emotion of caring. As horrible as it seemed, I didn't care - but I pitied his situation. For a split second, until it evaporated.

"And he likes me?" I almost choked on the thought.

"God since we were little Miley. He adores you." Joe said sincerely. Hope glittered in his expression.

I threw my head back and laughed. Bubbly, loud and genuine laughter consumed me for possibly a full two minutes. As I entered our registration call and took my seat, I was still chuckling to myself about the insanity. It died out, but the ghost of it lingered in my smile. Joe turned to face me, eyebrows raised.

"Are you finished?"

I nodded my head.

"I take it you thought it was hilarious?" again I nodded "and this means you still hate him?"

I found the question ludicrous. Just because I'd been informed by a secondary source that the person who has been on the delivering end of all my torment, snide remarks and basic bullying I've received since I was seven "liked me" did that mean the past was simply erased? Does it not count because behind all the insults he was secretly admiring my eyes? Some people might have been so easy to forget or be fickle enough to fall at his feet, but not me. Yesterday, he brought everything to a whole new level, what he said was tactless and cruel. Even prior to that, I still wouldn't go running to him with open arms. I still hate him. I am still Miley, he is still Nick and I still **hate** the boy.

"It doesn't change a thing Joe. I'm sorry." I shrugged. Not apologizing for my feelings, but that Joe was still in the middle

The bell sounded again, just as Nick strolled into the room. Obviously he is above punctuality and rules. I smirked, knowing I knew his little secret, but he didn't have a clue. I picked my bag up off the floor and joined the cluster that was exiting the class. Making sure I banged into him.

"Watch it Stewart," he winced, speaking through gritted teeth. His hand lingered over where I knocked him - it wasn't even hard and I'm not exactly carrying a great deal of height or weight. He was being pathetic and exaggerating the force to gain attention.

"For crying out loud, toughen up you sad act." I snarled, blowing him a sarcastic kiss.

His jaw was locked, I could see his anger rising. Yet for once he didn't bite back. He was holding his composure. He knew he over stepped the mark yesterday. This was his way of being sorry; by not retaliating. It was too little, far too late.

"Miles," Joe shot me a glare, then turned to Nick. He asked him a silent question to which Nick's reply was a nod, his eyes downcast. I scoffed, holding my head high I walked away from them both. My first class was with Selena, physics. I already had my folder, so I weaved straight through the groups of people and right in the direction of my classroom. I passed Noah on my way, she was alone - looking completely out of it. She worried me greatly.

Selena was already sat at our desk, towards the back of the classroom. She was fiddling with her long brown hair. Her face brightened when she saw me take the empty seat next to her. We were friends, she was possibly my one female friend. However, we didn't live in each other's pockets like myself and Joe.

"Hiya," I greeted her

"Did Joe apologize?" she asked.

"Yeah he did. On Nick's behalf too." I'd only told her a brief outline of what happened.

"I should hope so. What he did was far worse than what Nicky said." she said rather snootily. I took in the fact she gave him a nickname like they had even exchanged a couple of words before; which they had not.  
"Nick said what he said with the intention of malice. He is more in the wrong." I disagreed with her.

"Not really. Why do you never give him a chance? You're so funny with him."

"Why do you always defend him? You're my friend Selena. I can understand when Joe makes excuses, but not when you do." I questioned why she frequently chose him over me. The way she would jump over hurdles for him was grating at my nerves.

"Oh just forget it Miley," she huffed.


	4. Chapter 4

**To the three people who reviewed my first three chapters: xxxhopexxx ; Raechel, and niley16 ; this chapter's for you. Thanks for reviewinggg. : )**

And to all those who are reading this, don't just READ, REVIEW! : ] 

Chapter 4

The house was filled with traces of them. A coffee cup with a pink lipstick mark left half empty next to the sink, not even in it. I could smell cigarette smoke and her expensive perfume that she bathed in. After returning home on Tuesday after a long day at school, I found the house empty. Yet it was obvious they had been back for two, maybe three hours while their children were getting an education.

They didn't stay to wait for us, just to see us after a month. They couldn't even leave a note. Just cleaning for me to do. And it would destroy Braison and Noah.

I ached for a hug from my mother, and I wished my dad could be protective of me. In all fairness, they must trust us on some level and that is an emotion that they hold for us. Leaving three teenagers alone for lengthy period of time should set alarm bells ringing in anybody's mind. Parties, drinking, sex, drugs, crime - any _normal_ parent would care. Ours probably wouldn't notice if one of us decided to run away to Africa. We could quite literally get away with murder as far as they were concerned. I chose not to mess with things that would harm me or others, even though the temptation was there. And my siblings followed my morals. We could go off the rails and have no punishment, yet we act like the perfect kids without any praise.

So why aren't they the slightest bit proud?

Tears fell freely as I attempted to mask their scent with something else. I felt so rejected by my parents and offended by their arrogance. Never, have I wanted to drop everything more than I do right now. Just leave this house, leave Las Vegas, leave my family life and responsibilities behind me. They don't care for anybody but themselves, so why should I? Why did I care so much for my siblings? I'm the oldest, I'm meant to avoid them and get irritated by them. But no, I couldn't prevent the overwhelming desire to mother them.

I ended up clutching the phone in my hand. "**Joe**" I whispered, wanting him more than anything. I punched in the digits that made his number. I wanted comfort right now. I was the one in need of support this time.

It rang, in fact it continued to ring. Until I grew impatient and put it back on the receiver. I grabbed a grey hoodie and slipped it on over my school uniform.

I ran outside the house, Braison was at the front of the drive. He started to smile, but stopped when he saw my face. "What's wrong Miles?"

"I can't... I can't cope. I need to go.. not forever Brais. J-Just for an hour." I avoided his gaze, I didn't want to see the disappointment or hurt. I've soothed him so many times, now I was the one deserting him. I hoped he would understand eventually, that I would always come back. I just had to escape.

I walked at a fast pace. Normally on foot, it would take me about twenty five minutes to get to Joe's. With the way I was walking, it would cut fifteen minutes off that. So I wasn't shocked when the house with the yellow door was within sight. However, my body protested at how quickly I was moving it. Every muscle in my legs were throbbing, my lungs were desperate for oxygen and my heart was racing. But I'd made it to a world far away from home and that was all I needed. I tapped on the door, loudly, hoping that I wasn't disturbing Will, Joe's older brother who occasionally worked night shifts.

"Miles? What's the matter hon?" Mrs. Adams asked, concerned.

I adore her, but I couldn't bare being near her right now because I _loathed_ the fact she didn't give birth to me and I wasn't her daughter. "I need to see Joe"

"Sure, you know where he is,"

I forgot my manners, I didn't feel like using them at this particular moment. I charged up the stairs, then headed towards the third door along. I pushed it open. For all I knew, right now Joe was half dressed, and I was intruding, but I didn't care. Luckily, he was sitting on his bed, immediately his head shot up as I stepped in.

"N- _Miles?_ What's wrong?" he stood up and wrapped his arms around me tightly. I sobbed into his chest, sobs which made me hiccup and even gag. It was flooding out. All the pressure had become too much and the dam finally burst under the stress. Like the amazing friend he is, Joe held me wordlessly. Not pressing me for answers. He just rubbed my back. As they subsided, I pushed away from him and undid my hoodie before perching on Joe's bed.

"They must hate us. Are we that much of a burden? I cannot cope. I can't do well in school and be a mother to two teenagers. Sure, I don't have to juggle a job because they so kindly allow us to use the money flowing out of their bank account. That's it. While they're travelling over the globe doing God knows what. No contact at all. I got home, and they'd blessed the house with their presence. Were they still there when I got there? Nope. Not a flippin' chance of that. I'm so unworthy of them, so repulsive. I must be!" I yelled in rage.

I looked up to see Joe's reaction, but I spotted a shadow by the door. Hesitating, before stepping into my view. **Nick**.

"Oh for heaven's sake," I huffed, not believing he was here to be a witness of my breakdown. "You Nick Gray, don't even get me started on you. I guess you're right. My parents don't give a damn about me. Never have never will. Aren't you proud of your wisdom? Your knowledge of me? Shall I bow down at your feet now, or later?"

His jaw clenched, like it had done all week. Not one snide remark had past his lips. No matter how much bait I gave him, he resisted. And it was boring me. Right now, I wanted to provoke a reaction from him. He took his problems out on me, according to Joe. Well now, I'm in the driving seat and _I'm_ going to lash out this time.

"Why so sad, Nick? I can tell you've had tears in your eyes. Maybe a girl refused you? Nope, nobody would do that would they? Could you not squeeze yourself into Sandy's jeans? No, God no, it can't be that since you're wearing them right now. How about you drop me a hint?"

"Stop it," his voice was laced with a begging tone.

"Have you ever given me mercy, Nick? Shame, would have been nice around the time you insulted me in my house... hmm." I was making him squirm. I felt Joe's hand on my arm. Signalling to me that I needed to stop. But right now, I understood Nick Gray. It felt so good just to pass your suffering onto someone else. And I was just warming up.

"Look at me," I demanded. He did, looking down since I just about reached his shoulders. "Now, tell me exactly what you know about me Nick."

"What do you want from me?" he asked, not breaking eye-contact.

"Just do it," I hissed.

"You're Miley Stewart. You were born in France, moved to Las Vegas..."

"Not that, things Joe has told you."

They exchanged glances. Nick's face was wary, I couldn't see Joe's, but I expected it was similar to his.

"Your parents are never around. They haven't since you were ten really. That's left you in charge of your brother and sister. You've matured quickly, you rarely go out to socialize. You don't trust anybody completely. You have a hard time accepting people because you don't think they'll stick around."

I have no idea why I wanted to hear him describe what I was trying to escape. It stabbed at me, the words and the fact he knew.

"Now, you know that it was only fair Joe told me your little secret." I moved closer, resting my hand on his chest. I felt him tighten. I'm not sure if it was my touch or because he was over whelmed by the fear that I knew something he obviously didn't want me to know.

"How could you?" he said in an accusing tone, aimed at the boy standing behind me.

"Nick, trust me. It's not the thing you're thinking of. And Miles, what are you doing? I know you're hurting, but this isn't you. Stop before you say something you'll regret." Joe was being my voice of reason, but I wondered how much it had to do with keeping me loyal to myself and how much he was trying to stop himself looking like Mr. Bad. He slipped up when he told me Nick's feelings and now, in my poison fuelled frame of mind, I was ready to use my knowledge as a weapon.

"You make me feel physically sick Nick. That's how much I **despise you**. I can't stand being around you. In fact, to use the old cliché; if you were the last man alive, I would throw myself off a cliff, into jagged rocks. Joe told me how much you like me, but I'm afraid it will never be returned. Because I genuinely **hate** you, and the only person you can blame is yourself." I spat the words through gritted teeth, right by his quivering face.

He walked out of the room as soon as the last word left my lips. My shoulders slumped and suddenly, I didn't feel so great. I felt disgusted that I'd lowered myself to his level. The feeling couldn't be mistaken as guilt or regret - no. I was deeply ashamed of myself. Fresh tears fell out of my eyes in a bid of self-loathing.

I turned to face Joe, who had an unreadable look on his face.

"Miles, go after him," he ordered, his voice shaking.

"Are you mad? No!"

"He can't go home Miley! It'll be your fault if he does."

"Oh fuck you Joe. It's just like when we were younger. You choosing him over me"

And I followed the route Nick took, out of the door, away from his disapproving eyes. Out of the yellow door.

I walked home slowly, prolonging the time it took to reach the door. But I was here, in front of my house. On the front door, on a post-it note was my name. I peeled the pink paper off and there was a duplicate still on the wood. Except Miley wasn't written on it.

_"And I believe, this may call for a proper introduction,"_ Tiny writing was scribbled on it so it would all fit. The same autograph and the same style of writing. The more I received, the more my curiosity and confusion grew. Was it poetry? Or were these lyrics? And whose pen wrote the perfectly formed words. They were male, definitely. From their writing - messy but legible. They knew me obviously and attended my school. They must be intelligent - pretty much excluding 75% of my school. They'd suffered. That was clear.

All the assumptions, but nothing written in stone. Nothing led me closer to who he was.


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter's for my reviewers, thank you so much. You really inspire me to keep writing.  
niley16: Thanks. haha. That's just her character in the story, don't worry. : ) Yeahh, I know. I pity Nick, too.  
xxxhopexxx: Sure! You're welcome. : ) Hahahaha. Thanks. Yeah, but it's okay. AND, here it is! I hope you like it!  
Annaissmiling: Thank you so much. I'll try not to bore you with the story. [ =  
Good'n'Broken (Raechel): That's good to know. Thanks so much.**

TO ALL THOSE WHO READ AND DIDN'T REVIEW, I WILL PERSONALLY SKIN YOU ALIVE. : ) )  
Hahaha. Just kidding. : ]  
Hope you guys like this chapter.  


**REVIEW!**

Chapter 5

"Selena, I've called five times now. Please, just answer if it isn't too much of a problem."

I put my phone down, increasing in agitation. Nobody has contacted me, or communicated with me for days. Braison won't look at me, Noah is just doing what Noah does best, Joe is ashamed of me and Selena is unreachable. I haven't even had a note containing writing from the mystery guy. The only words that have past my lips are the ones in direction of teachers. And I felt like I was on the brink of another meltdown.

So all my coursework and essays were complete. I had no revision or studying to do. I had re-read all of my Palahnuik books and watched three whole series' of _Friends_. I was officially unable to live without human interaction.

"Braison!?" I shouted, walking around the house. I continued to shout and bawl, just repeating his name and hoping for an answer.

"He's not in." Noah told me, irritation in her tone.

"Where is he?" Braison rarely went out without informing me. In fact, he usually asked for my permission.

"That girl's house, the one he's doing the project with."

"What girl?"

"Erm, she's really pretty. Brown hair, brown eyes. Err a name like Randa or something." Noah told me.

I groaned, knowing instantly who she was describing. I walked out of her room and grabbed my bag from my own room. I craved conversation and understanding that badly, that I was going to get my brother. Not just from anywhere either, the house I desired never to step inside. I only knew where it was because it had been pointed out to me previously.

Cold air whipped at my arms and tangled amongst my hair – it sweeping behind me. It wasn't particularly pleasant, but I couldn't fault it. At least it wasn't droplets of rain beating at my skin. Yet I shivered, which made my pace quicken to reach the house.

The more I allowed myself to think, I became enraged. I was furious with my brother. Very well, he could be disappointed and be petty by avoiding me, but not telling me where he was when he normally did. I was sick with worry, anything could have happened to him and I wouldn't have known how to contact him.

The house was shabby. Not typically; the walls were intact and the windows weren't smashed, but the flowers were wilting in their pots and paint was chipping away from the window frames. And despite how cold the wind was making me feel, the aurora of the brick and mortar in front of me was far worse. The door was daunting, daring me to back away. I lifted my hand and knocked.

"Can I help you?" a perky woman in her mid-forties opened the door.

Her smile was as fake as her make-up plastered face. No surgery, just a layer of cosmetics as thick as my thumb.

"Yes please. I'm looking for my brother Braison Stewart?" My voice was wavering slightly from nerves.

"Come right in, you're Noah yes?" her smile was less forced than before, but there was something different to it than a normal one. Something was hinted in it- sympathy? I stepped inside and kicked my pumps off.

"No Mrs. Gray, I'm Miley." I corrected politely.

"Well I never," her eyes flicked me up and down, examining my profile. Then she pulled me into her arms and hugged me. Nick Gray's mother was hugging me. She knew who I was. I stood there, stiff as a board, waiting for the madness to end. "You're such a good girl. I admire what you do so much"

**Joe Adams was a dead man.**

"Your brother told me how much you do and what your home life is like. He said that recently, he had been trying not to depend on you so much, because you deserve a teenage life. You are wonderful Miley."

I was shocked at how highly this woman was talking about me. The awe that gleamed in her eyes was for me. My brother who hadn't looked at me in days still appreciated me, talked about me even. But he told her about our home situation, which wasn't so smart. She could tell the social services. We'd be taken into care and be separated. Then I thought about what Joe told me, Nick's home life isn't smooth, so perhaps not.

"Erm, thank you. Where is Braison?"

"Upstairs in Randa's room. Don't worry, the door's open and Randa's brother is in the next room."

I went up the stairs, passing a wall of photographs. Nick, Nick, Miranda, Nick. My eyes landed on a set up family portrait. Mr. and Mrs. Gray, and a younger Nick and Miranda. Except underneath in loopy black lettering were four names, and none were Nick. Paul, Denise, Miranda and _Paul Jr_. I smiled to myself and continued up the last four steps. There was an open door, and my brother's voice. I walked towards that direction.

I coughed, making my presence known. Two faces looked up at me from paper they were reading and discussing.

"Miley! Here to see Nick?" Tegan asked brightly.

"Nope, Braison needs to come home," I said lightly, disguising any emotion from my tone.

"Can't it wait till I'm done," he stated rather than asked.

"No, I need you home now."

"I'm sorry, but when did you become my mother Miley? You're my sister, that's all. You can't control me like that."

I felt numb. I couldn't believe he'd said that. Was he that hurt from what happened? But I was livid. After all the time I spent looking after him, I was repaid like this. I didn't have the will to accept what he said as a slip of the tongue. I was too hurt.

"_That's all_? How dare you! Well, let's remember that when you need someone to talk to, borrow from, the next time you want a cooked meal or help in any form. After all, I'm only your sister that's looked after you since you were 9," I screamed.

Miranda's jaw had dropped, hitting the ground. She glared at Braison in disgust, edging away from him. I felt comforted that I wasn't taking what he had said out of context.

"Miles... I didn't - I'm so sor-"

"No way Braison."

"What are you doing here?" a harsh voice asked.

"Save it Nick, I'm leaving," I walked past him.

"No, you can't just come here," his voice was wary, laced with panic. I knew it was related to his problems which took place inside these walls. He didn't want me to see, judge his private life.

"I'm sorry, but I came for my brother." my tone was less sharp than what it was previously. Looking up at his face. Instantly he turned away from me. I knew how awful I was to him at Joe's. Yes, I may hate him and he may hate me, but I sank to his petty level. And no matter how good it felt at the time, it was unfair. My mind was stuttering over words that I should say to him. I knew I had to apologize. Mostly to ease my guilt.

"It wasn't right to lash out at you Nick. I'm really sorry," I said quietly. He didn't react, just stayed where he was, back to me.

"Does this mean..." he started.

"No," my voice hinted regret. "You've done too much to me Nick."

"Well you can keep that apology," he said bitterly, before entering a room I knew was his, slamming the door behind him. A weight lifted from me. I'd made my feelings clear, but tried to be descent. Brendon would accept my attempt, and talk to me. That's all I wanted. Brendon back. In fact, Sophie too.

I walked downstairs, halting at the door. I wanted to just leave, but I had an overwhelming urge to be polite and acknowledge Mrs. Gray before leaving. Going without saying goodbye would be so rude. Yet I didn't want to search the house for her, that would look like I was being nosy.

So I just left. Not wanting to be there anymore. As I walked down the streets, I saw a blonde girl heading towards the road I was leaving. Selena. She spotted me also and crossed the road to approach me. I smiled as we got closer, relaxed about that situation too.

"Have you just been to see Nick?" she snapped.

"No, I went to get Brais."

"From Nick's?"

"Yes Selena, from Nick's house. Is that where you're going?"

"He just phoned and asked me over." she said, like it was the most amazing thing in the world. He snapped, she crawled. He must have called after we spoke.

"Really? I didn't realize you talked."

"Oh yeah. More than that actually," Snooty. Distant. Boastful. "I must go,"

She walked away. I stayed still. My mind reeling. Them two, fooling around. Dating perhaps. It had to have been after what happened at Joe's. In true Nick Gray style, he bounced onto a new girl. Rebound from what I'd said, from me. Of course Selena would do anything to be near Nick.

**The girl would do** anything

She always thought I'd use Joe to get closer to Nick. I am the closest person to Joe. Joe is the closest person to Nick. She was using me. I was the only thing available. She's been using me. All she was interested in about my life was Joe + Nick. She has what she wanted all along now. And she was avoiding me since.

I don't think I'd ever felt so angry or lost as I do now.

That girl was going to regret it. Using me. Especially since it involved him. I had to get revenge. I had to.


	6. Chapter 6

**This chapter goes to all my reviewers and readers! Special Mentions again to: **_**niley16,**__**xxxhopexxx**_, _**a123hotie & Team M. **_****

Thanks you guys so much.  
So those who read and didn't review, I'M WATCHING YOU. : )

Hope you guys like this chapter. ; p 

Chapter 6

_"Nick is going out with Selena."_  
**"Nick Gray and her?"**  
"But I thought he was going out with Camille,"  
"Urgh, that girl can go die. Nick's mine"

School buzzed with it. Every person knew, anything surrounding him spread like a forest fire. And I was sick of being reminded of betrayal. I had to act like everything was normal. Selena wouldn't know I'd caught onto her trickery.

I managed to push my new found obsession with revenge out of my mind as I walked to my English class. Not wanting them two to ruin my haven. I was always early to this lesson, to secure a desk towards the front.

On the chalkboard were two words in bubble clouds; invisible and monster. My stomach flipped with excitement if it meant what I thought it did. I pulled out my orange work book, writing one word on one page, and the other on the opposite side. Ready for note taking before the bell had even rang.

People sauntered in, looked at the board, none understanding the relevance. One person did a double take and grinned, like I did. And it shocked me

_Nick Gray._

"Right class, brainstorm about the two words. Separately and together in relation to each other." Mr. Thomas instructed. I immediately started. Joe kicked me, looking for acknowledgement. I ignored him. We hadn't talked still. Shortly, a ball of paper landed on my desk. I ignored that too and continued to write detailed thoughts. He hissed, kicked again and whined like a child. My right hand reached for the screwed up ball and I read it, just for the peace. **"Talk to me after lesson? Love Joey."** I nodded, knowing he was waiting for a signal.

"Okay, has anybody got any idea why I'm making you do this?" Mr. Thomas asked. My hand shot up, desperate to be chosen. And naturally, I was.

"Invisible Monsters is a novel by the author Chuck Palahnuik. We're studying the book?" I answered. This was the only lesson I willingly participated in. Otherwise I shied away, not wanting to be deemed a geek. I was to be fair - A/A+ student in every subject. I just didn't want it to be known.

"Indeed we are Miley," he smiled warmly at me "now, any ideas on what it is about? I'm not interested in knowing what happens at the minute. I want a perspective from someone who hasn't heard of the book till today."

I sank into my seat, slightly deflated that I couldn't answer. I had the satisfaction of knowing who was way off though. Ideas ranged from the obvious such as taking the title to be literal, and this was a super natural book about monsters you couldn't see. The closest theory was accidental. Sophie Singer suggested that the ideas were way too simple and obvious and there's was more likely a metaphorical meaning to it. Then the slight arrogance of Carl Barker helped us stumble on something

"Pffft, so you mean this is like 'Oh that guy is an Invisible Monster?' " He thought he was being funny.

"Interesting, now could someone give me a true plot line? Not too revealing of course," M .Thomas asked.

Hand in the air automatically, tongue ready to talk the words my mind was sewing together. Mr. Thomas looked straight past me and nodded his head. I retracted my arm in embarrassment, then turned to see who was chosen. My eyes widened.

"Like the majority of his work, Palahnuik's narrator is someone we don't learn about till further into the book. There's not much you can say about her without ruining everything. She's a model, left disfigured after an accident. Her life depended on the looks she no longer has. Then Brandy burst into her life and alters it." Ryan said coolly, talking about my favorite book with passion in his eyes. I was baffled, truly left speechless.

"It addresses vanity and the craving for attention. Something a lot of people need to get over," his addition left me stunned even more.

Another paper ball landed on my desk, from Joe again **"Still highly doubt your similarities?"** Even his writing was smug, like the expression on his face when I turned to look at him. He read the shock on my face and he winked, snickering to himself.

"So only Nick and Miley have read this book? Well done both of you, it's nice to see intelligence once in awhile" Mr. Thomas said lightly, he was praising us collectively. This used to happen so long ago, both of us reading one book. It still happened? I turned to look at him again and caught Nick staring at me. For a second I felt a mutual connection with him, until I remembered what Selena had done and who he was. The wave of hatred crashed again. I managed to throw him a glare and faced the front again.

When the bell rang, Joe barged past every member of the class so he could secure his place as first out. He did it to catch me when I left, to guarantee us talking. He thought I'd go straight to my next lesson instead of waiting. I wouldn't have done that, but I liked how it showed Joe really wanted to talk to me. I collected my things and walked to exit. Nick was in front of me, I stood glaring at the back of his head. He moved through the door and walked straight over to Joe.

"Nah sorry man. I'm spending time with Miley. I'll talk to you later,"

"I thought you weren't talking to that bitch,"

"Hey, never call her anything like that again in front of me. Is it any wonder she hates you?"

I smiled as I listened to Joe defend me. I watched as Nick walked away in a huff. Joe growled in his direction, venting his anger out. Next thing the student body knew, he threw his head back and yelled out. A few people looked at him warily, walking around him. I moved closer, waiting for him to finish his outburst.

"Miley!" he squealed, hugging me so tightly it pushed all the oxygen out of me. I didn't try to wiggle out or complain like I usually would. I missed it too much to do that.

"Joe!" I countered in a tone similar to his.

"I love you so so so much! We're never doing that again. A boy shouldn't come between us Miley baby,"

"Damn right! Especially one that we're not even getting pleasure from," I played along, smiling for the first time in awhile.

"Just because you aren't honey, doesn't mean I'm not getting a little loving outta Nickyy..."

That smug expression lit his face again, while mine was pure horror. Of course I knew it wasn't true, but images - the obscene thoughts Joe pushed in my head. I was positive I wouldn't fall asleep tonight. "I hate you" I mumbled

"Tsk, tsk! Now don't start already young lady," he wagged his forefinger in my face.

"Excuse me, I'm not the one polluting pure, innocent minds,"

We laughed together and everything seemed to crumble away. I couldn't have cared less about Nick or Selena, my parents or Brais. I just wanted to laugh. Joe stopped, still smiling. He was watching me intently and his expression completely altered. He looked so serious and in thought. It past shortly and he soon had his arm slung over my shoulders, steering us to our homebound destination.

"God Miley I've missed you so much," he said, except this time he didn't have a put on voice; it was Joe talking. The boy I knew behind the barriers.

I leant into him more, relaxing in a way I haven't experienced in weeks.

"I need to talk to you as well. Is that okay?" he paused for me to nod "It's my parents. Well mainly my father. It's college and religion. College mainly, but I'm so committed to the shitty band we have... I know we're all capable musicians. And I _have_ to stick with it, I know I do. You probably agree with my parents though, don't you?" he rambled, which is what he does best.

"Okay, yes Joe. I do want you to study and do well at school. I really need you to do that. Not for anyone but yourself. Stick to the band, as you are a brilliant singer and everything" I advised.

"Yeah you're right. I can accept that coming from you though."

"I'll support you 110% no matter what you do Joe. Unless it's illegal or really bad," I promised.

"Yeah, same to you Miley Babes. And that includes anything illegal or bad." Joe said proudly.

He means that, I know he does. But if he knew how set my mind was on inflicting pain on Selena and Nick, I don't think he'd be on my side through that. Not if I put the plan I had in mind in action. I might lose Joe all together.

But I have to salvage my battered dignity. **Three cheers for sweet revenge!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much to those who reviewed Chapter 6, namely, **_**niley16**_**, **_**Good'n'Broken123, xxxhopexxx, Team M, CESA, & Annaissmiling. **_**Some of the song lyrics are from Panic at the Disco. They're lyrics are deep. : )**

REVIEW!

Hope you guys like this chapter.  
Oh, and this will be the last chapter in the next, uh, 4 days? I'm not allowed to use the computer on school days. Luckily, this weekend's got an extra day. : (  
I'll try my best to upload chapter 8 before I sleep later.

Once again, DON'T ONLY READ – REVIEW!

Chapter 7

"Is it still me that makes you sweat?"

I was sitting on a hideous pink sofa that was scattered with an array of fluffy cushions in the same color. This was Selena's room that I'd been in plenty of times previously. Except this time I hadn't been invited and I certainly wasn't welcome. Next to me was her boyfriend, Nick Gray, who did not know how to interpret what I just asked him.

We were alone, Selena's dad had sent her out to pick up her younger brother from the mall ten minutes away. After screams of protest, a series of 'I hate you' and a $20 bribe - she went. From the goodbye she gave me, she didn't expect me to be here when she came back. I didn't plan to either, and if things went accordingly, Nick wouldn't either.

"_Excuse me_?"

He looked at me for the first time since I'd arrived. I'd got to Selena's house and her father let me in. I also slipped in that Noah had seen his son Joshua mixing with the wrong crowd at the mall. Of course that wasn't strictly true. The only fact was that Joshua was at the mall, so it was believable. I knew it would get Selena out the house for at least twenty short minutes.

She didn't leave before we had time to catch up though. I had time to inform her of what had been going on in the past few weeks. Frankly though, I was not interrupting anything, in fact they were sitting on opposite sides of the room. Rather than sitting next to my _dear_ friend, I chose to sit by the boy I hate. As I talked I used grand gestures - arms accidently hitting or brushing against Nick. I went into huge detail about Max. Of course Selena remembered Max from that party who I spent all night making out with. There has never been a Max, or a boy I've been stupid enough to behave like that with. Of course she knew him though, not wanting to seem foolish.

All the time Nick sat, fists clenched, glaring at the white carpet. As I described what and amazing kisser Max was, he closed his eyes and held his breath. Nick couldn't deny that he liked me, not with his reactions. That was the moment I knew, getting Nick to behave how I wanted him to wouldn't be a problem.

Then Selena left, leaving us perfectly alone. The only thing she would consider happening between us would be murder.

"You know Nick, when you and Selena are together. Am **I** who you think about in bed?"

He didn't reply - just swallowed. A soft blush crept onto his cheeks, giving away the truth more than words could have. It was like the previous week, where I was in control - I had taken the power in our non-existent relationship from under his nose. He couldn't hurt me anymore.

"Shall I take your silence as a yes?" I teased, forcing myself to behave like the girls I hate.

"What are you playing at Miley?" he managed to say.

I knew I couldn't reply. Anything I said would be wrong and suspicious. So I chose to skim over the question, by acting like it was never asked.

"Do you have to stop yourself moaning my name?" I winced, I know I did. Praying I was pulling this off and escaping a sentence in Hell.

"No. I mean we haven't.. I mean--" stuttering, blubbering - I was having an effect I had never dreamt of inflicting before. And on _Nick Gray_, to say I was scaring myself was an understatement.

"That hung up about me Nick?" I laughed coyly "How long have you liked me?"

I watched him fight himself. Now I know Nick is intelligent and would know not to answer that and to be wary of my actions. I was hugely relying on the fact he was of the male gender and that something else would replace his brain in this situation.

"Stop it. I know what you're doing. You've been doing it since that day. I've tried _so_ hard to leave you be, yet all you've been doing is provoking me. So just... leave." Nick Gray was back. Not the blundering human Nick. And I had been hoping this wouldn't happen. So a change of tactic was needed. Cue forlorn Miley who is craving understanding. I sunk, backing away from him. Body language would be noticed by someone too articulate and analyzing.

"I know and I'm sorry. I don't want to hate you, so I'm trying to understand you." I said above a whisper, hoping this switch would attack the side of him that liked me and wouldn't want me to be upset.

"Oh. You mean that?" his tone was one I hadn't heard him use for me before, his natural one.

"Really I do. I've been thinking about it ever since that day in your house. The way you seemed genuine for the first time since… well, Joe came to our school. I've tried to think about what I did to make you hate me so. It must be my fault."

I'd reached the point where I no longer needed to think hard about what to say to stay in character. It had become a second nature, and I was reacting by instinct. And I was good. At least Nick was convinced.

"I don't understand you Miley Stewart," he sighed in frustration.

"I don't understand _you_!" I shouted, jumping to my feet. And there it was again- the power was dominant on my team. "Honest to God Nick, you make me so mad. I just have to get away from you. I hate you _so_ much"

I stepped back towards the couch, hovering over Nick. His eyes flickered with a change of emotion - jaw clenched again. He stood, towering above me. There was about three centimeters between our bodies. He was glaring down at me and I was mirroring his expression.

"I knew it! I knew you were toying with me. You didn't mean anything you just said apart from your hate. Joe has you so wrong. He thinks you're a sweet, soft natured girl. How wrong is he? Do you get thrills from messing with my mind? You're just a cold, shallow minded bitch!"

I thought of everything wrong in the world. I thought of everything Nick ever said to me, my parents and Braison. Sure enough my eyes glazed over with a haze of tears. I shoved Nick slightly, pressing my hands into his chest.

"You Nick, should wait until people are finished talking. Especially ones who were prepared to start a new with you and try to abandon their hatred, before you insult them further!"

His eyes widened in horror "Oh no," he whispered "Oh !" he hissed.

Then it all went amazingly well, far better than I'd dreamed. My head was bowed down as I sobbed slightly, forcing tears. I felt two calloused hands grip the sides of my face and ease my chin up. He made me look into his brown eyes.

"I am so sorry Miley. It's no wonder you hate me is it? I mean I already knew that - I just couldn't accept I'd made you feel that way. I've tried to correct my ways towards you. Believe me I have. It's just a part of me hates you too. I hate the way you hate me, the way you make me hate you because of it, but mostly because you're so...perfect."

His eyes flickered down slightly, for a second, to my lips. I slipped my tongue out quickly to tease, look like I was preparing myself to kiss him. His head edged closer - then he stopped, he was so hesitant. It was too soon anyway. I turned my head forcefully to my left. He dropped his hands instantly, withdrawn to his sides. Tension lay thick between us.

"I'm going to go, I can't take anymore of this today Nick," I muttered, making sure my voice sounded fragile - like I'd cry anytime soon. I turned away from him and walked to the door. All the time his eyes were burning in the back of my head. I opened the shut door and left Selena's room. I waited behind it after, leaving it ajar. A lot of swearing and self loathing escaped.

I leant against the wall and smiled, sighing to release an overwhelming sensation of pride. I'd gone through with it. **Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned**. Yet I couldn't shake off the deep feeling of disgrace. Right now, I hated myself more than the boy in the room.

I moved hastily out of Selena's house, saying a quick farewell to her father, who was sitting by the phone. It stabbed at me. He was so concerned about his children that he couldn't do anything but wait anxiously till they were in his sight.

My cell began to vibrate in my pocket, I pulled it out to be greeted by a name I haven't seen on the screen for a while.

"Hiya" I answered

"Did Nick leave with you?" the girl never greets anybody. She just jumps straight to the point.

"No I left five minutes ago, I'm at the front door now."

"Okay then, thanks."

She hung up on that sparkling note. I ran into my room squealing. It all fit into place immediately. I couldn't believe it. I felt like I had to tell somebody - the only person I'd ever talk to something like that would be Joe.** Joe.**

My heart stopped beating and a wave of nausea hit me. He'd surely notice, or Nick would mention something to him. It would blow everything. I'd have to use him. Phone him in tears, explaining how I tried to talk to Nick and he rejected my attempts to start a new. Joe would no doubt confront Nick. I could completely jeopardize their friendship in the process. But would that be a bad thing?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Last lesson Thursday - English. We had reached the part in the book where Shannon goes to find the Rhea sisters hotel room. Mr. Thomas stopped us there, like I knew he would, just before the good part so we could no doubt break off into groups and discuss what would happen next. I'd remained silent for the best part of four lessons when it reached this sort of activity, and I didn't like it at all.

"Instead of groups today, we're partnering up. So pick somebody quickly--" I rotated to grab Joe's attention before anyone else could "--**Except** Nick Gray and Miley Stewart. I'm putting you two together to discuss the build-up and evidence in the text."

I groaned and prepared myself to protest through reflex. I stopped myself before a syllable rolled off my tongue. It wouldn't be such a bad thing. I'd love the task if it was with anyone else, and it might not be so bad for situations outside the class. I collected my things and moved from the front to the spare desk next to Nick. He was watching my every move, clearly feeling as mixed emotion about this as me. I loved this book and knew the build up like the back of my hand, but I just didn't know what to say. Nothing seemed appropriate.

"Did you like the book?" Nick broke the silence.

"Erm yeah," I answered, not willing to expand on the answer for such a poor question.

"Yeah, I did too. I love Palahnuik. Have you read anything else by him?"

"Everything. All I do is read. Between looking after two teenagers - well one now, studying and writing," I _couldn't_ stop my mouth from moving. All that came without warning.

I looked up at Nick's face. He was smiling weakly and then turned to look out the window. I searched the room for Joe. He was with Trey. They clearly weren't discussing the book, it was obvious from their expressions. They were sure as hell having more fun than me. I just sat and watched, hoping Joe would look my way.

"Miley can we talk?" Nick interrupted my thoughts.

"Sure! You see I spotted immediately Brandy was Shance, but I must say I was shocked when it said he tried to look like Shannon and the reason why she loved Brandy was because she looked like how she..."

"No, not about the book--" he stopped me "--About Sunday."

My nose wrinkled, like I'd just smelt something rotten. I genuinely didn't realize that was what he had meant. And it was the last thing I wanted to do in the middle of a lesson, where anybody could hear.

"No Nick. Not now. Anyway, did you guess Brandy was Shane?"

He didn't reply immediately, just looked at me. Clearly he'd expected me to jump at the chance of clearing the air. My plan, was to make it hazier. Eventually he talked. In fact we didn't stop. Arguing over literature instead, but in a controlled manner. Yet we couldn't even have a civil conversation about a common interest. Mr. Thomas passed us a few times, listening in to check we were discussing the given topic. Unlike the majority, we actually were.

"I want you to continue reading till the end of this chapter. And write a summary of it. You may leave when you're ready." Mr. Thomas said over the top of moving chairs and shuffling paper as soon as the bell went.

"Hey Nick?" I said as he bent to get his bag. He looked up, motioning for me to continue "I'll come to yours at five. We can talk"

Without waiting for a word of protest or agreement, I walked out of the classroom. Outside the door, Joe stood, waiting it appeared for me. He moved as I moved, towards the doors of absolute freedom from this place.

"How was that? Did he give you a hard time? You looked like you were arguing." he asked.

My heart swelled right then. Joe's always been mildly protective, but lately it was more _in my face_ so to speak. And I was really appreciative. It was the closest thing I was ever going to get to fatherly sheltering. It gave me an overwhelming feeling of being loved and I never wanted it to go.

"Yeah, we were, but it was only over books" I assured.

"Good. Next time that kid treats you like that, he's going to regret it. I mean that. I'll kick his pretty boy ass to the next century to get it through his skull he can't..."

"Joe!" I laughed "thank you. You don't understand how thankful I actually am"

"Oh I have a small idea," he wrapped his left arm around my waist as we walked. I felt so safe.

**-x-**

I looked like I'd made too much effort, but at the same time, I appeared to have gone to no lengths to make myself _pretty_ for Nick. I was in front of his house again, still getting the same uncomfortable vibes from it, like I had last time. I'd knocked and I was waiting. I prayed Miranda wouldn't answer, I couldn't deal with her enthusiasm about me being here to see her brother.

Relief washed over me when Nick opened the door and beckoned me inside. He hadn't changed out of the school uniform, except his tie was loosened and his first few buttons were undone, exposing skin.

"Are your parents in?" I asked, as the house seemed completely still.

"No. They're at Randa's drama thing," he answered "Shall we go upstairs?"

I looked at the decor of the hallway; pale blue walls with a decorative trimming. I could smell stale cigarette smoke clinging to every surface. It's how I imagined a drug house to appear. Not the home of a quaint, suburban family. No, his room wouldn't be appropriate yet. Here was fine.

I edged closer to Nick, who was looking at me expectantly for an answer. I brushed my fingertips against his collar bone and traced down till my hand felt the texture of the tie round his neck.

"You never did answer my question did you?" I asked him, my voice was certainly huskier and held a seductive tone.

"And you never told me what the hell you're playing at." he jerked away from my grip.

In one smooth movement, I had him pressed against the wall. He stopped protesting long enough for me to keep him there. Eye contact locked and I saw a combination of shock, fear and **lust** in his brown eyes. I could feel his heart pounding into his chest, steadily, not racing yet.

"Tell me," I whispered.

"Yes. Yes you do Miley. Now please get--"

I'd got him to admit it, my main aim of today. I just couldn't resist taking things about three stages higher than planned. With my body still pressing into his, I stretched myself upwards and crashed my lips against his. I shut my eyes, trying to block out what I was doing, and whose lips I was on. He didn't respond so I pulled back slightly.

"**I've got more wit**," I said, with each word my lips formed I was grazing them against his slightly. "**A better kiss**," With that said I leant back in and this time Nick reacted.

Obviously he'd taken on board what I'd said about liking soft and rough kisses. It started gentle and fairly innocent, until I grazed my tongue against his lips. Then it turned. Biting my bottom lip slightly, sucking, it was actually mind blowing. I slipped my hand up his shirt and tore away again. "**And a hotter touch, than Selena.**" I sounded breathless and could hear Nick's breathing clearly. I shot him a smirk before prying away from him and heading out the front door I'd only just entered.

"Miley!" I heard him call after me. But I wasn't going to go back. Not just yet.

If I left it too long, that would give him time to grow a conscience. He'd either _a)_ Tell me I was being a total whore and to back off. _b)_ Tell Selena he couldn't continue because he had feelings for someone else. _c)_ Seek help from somebody. Realistically, he would never resort to option A. The latter two were more likely.

My lips were still buzzing. I haven't kissed anyone like that, _ever_. It had always been sweet with past relationships. Just then, I felt, for the first time in my life, like I was... _sexy_. I was confident and alluring. To start, this was all about revenge. Now, I was beginning to get hooked on the adrenaline rush caused be knowing what I was doing was so morally wrong. Yet I couldn't stop my lips from aching and I realized I wanted another taste of that passion.

I was using him as a weapon to hurt Selena and himself. Now, I'd gained someone to get quick thrills from. I may hate the boy, but my God, he was an awfully good puppet to be able to control.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for this chapter being so late. I've been really stressed. Midterms are coming up, and our family fair. Then too many parties! : ( Gah. Thanks for the reviews, though. Sorry this one sucks. : |**

Chapter 9

I lay on top of my bed after school, staring at the grooves on the ceiling. From this moment, till Monday morning, I didn't have to stick to any regime. Friday's were always welcomed by me with open arms. I felt relaxed, knowing I could just lay here and forget about everything and not feel guilty. Until the time when I just had to jump up and change out of my uniform so I could go and socialize. I craved human contact constantly. I am not as independent as I first thought I was.

I dressed in my usual combination of t-shirt with skinny jeans. Until I remembered I was going to Brent's and who could be there. I ripped my _Radiohead_ shirt off the second it touched my skin, as if I was burnt by the fabric. I dove inside my closet but nothing stood out. A desire to find a gallon of petrol and a match swept over me. I thought of the room next to mine. Dressed only in black jeans and a bra, I crept into the room. I expected it to be thick with dust as it had been untouched for months, but it wasn't.

My mother's wardrobe was over flowing with gorgeous articles I'd never ever wear, but towards the back were a few things I adored. Things she'd purchased recently and things from when she was my age. A strapless navy blue dress screamed at me. It wasn't anything spectacular with just a white bow around the middle for decoration. It was simple yet elegant, but thrown over jeans it wouldn't look fancy at all.

I slipped into it and felt extremely uncomfortable wearing things meant for my mother. But I was determined to overcome the awkwardness.

"Noah, I'm going to be up the road at Brent's house if you need me okay?" I walked across the hallway to her shut door. I heard an incoherent mumble in reply.

Braison was standing behind me, staring as I turned. I did what I'd been doing to him for what seemed like an eternity - pretend he wasn't present and walked downstairs. It's only since then that I started to do the thing he wanted me to do; be a teenager. Hell, I was going to Brent's. I'd declined him every week for three years, since he moved closer to me. My obligations to my siblings and my hate for Nick preventing me.

I knocked on his front door and waited, basking in the still bright sun while hoping we'd be located outside.

"Holy crap, am I going mad or are you really Miley? At my house? Looking totally hot by the way." Brent was gawping in the doorframe. I blushed and looked down at my white pumps.

"Is that Joe? I need to talk... woah."

Over Brent's shoulder was Spencer wearing a matching expression.

"I hate you two," I swatted them both as I walked into the house. They started to laugh and push me about. They loved to embarrass me.

"I'm so glad you are finally here Miley," Brent said honestly as he led me through the house to the garden. "You'll be pleased to know there is another female here,"

His voice was oozing sarcasm and lacking enthusiasm. As I stepped outside, I instantly knew why.

"Why are _you_ here?" Selena looked me up and down, snootily.

"Oh God, why am I in the garden of my friend's house after I was invited? It's insane! Spencer, eject me quickly before I cause a riot" I gave a performance that Joe would be proud of. She just scowled as Brent and Spencer snickered.

"Where's Joe?" I asked to nobody in particular. My eyes briefly flicked in Nick's direction.

"Errr walking here? We were hoping you knew to be honest" Spencer answered.

"Have any of you phoned to check? None of you? God forgot to give you all brains I swear, you're just like the scarecrow." I exclaimed, still infested with dramatics.

I lifted the material of my dress up so I could get to my phone from in my pocket. I hit speed dial for Joe and started to walk inside the kitchen. I hated people listening to me talk on the phone.

**"Miley Babes, what's up?"**  
"Joey where are you?"  
**"Walking to your house, why what's wrong?"**  
"Nothing" I laughed "I'm at Brent's"  
**"Nooooo! Really? Oh this is fantastic. I'll be there in ten minutes max"** he screamed and hung up. Possibly to sprint the rest of the way.

I chuckled and turned, then jumped in the shock of Nick standing inches away from me. His eyes held anger and he opened his mouth to talk. Before he could say a word, I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him softly. He responded ever so weakly until I pulled back. I smiled and walked back to the group.

It was a really lovely street that we lived on and the gardens were huge. Attached to one of the trees was a swing. I bounced towards it and perched on the wooden seat. Brent was watching me in amusement and Spencer was giving Selena a look of sheer distaste. Nick had followed me, with an expression of wrath. He honestly looked prepared to throttle me as he marched over to and stood behind me.

I saw Brent's face drop, preparing himself for a commotion.

I felt two hands push the small of my back and I was airborne - not too high, it wasn't hard enough. He continued to do it for awhile in silence. Brent kept his eyes firmly on us, holding a worried look on his face.

"What was that Miley?" Nick hissed so only I could hear.

I paused before replying, absorbing the sights from this height. I was flying above fence panels that were meant to supply privacy.

"Miley!" his tone was impatient and full of demand.

"Nick, I'm sure you understand the concept of a kiss,"

Then he shoved me with what must have been all his strength. That hurt enough. I lost my balance and my hands couldn't grip onto the rope. I collided with the grass below me, spread eagled on the ground. That was completely unexpected.

"What the hell was that!"

I pushed my upper body up at the sound of Joe's rage filled voice. Brent was at my side in an instant, easing me to my feet. He knew Nick would pull something like that. It was a shame I didn't.

Joe brushed past me towards Nick and I'm pretty sure we all gasped at the next link in the chain of events. _Smack_. This wasn't good.

"Joe" I shrugged Brent off and restrained my best friend "Come on sweetie, you don't want to do this"

"I do Miles! I am sick of him and his crap. I know he constantly attacks you verbally, but he just crossed the line" he snarled. I looked from him to Nick, Selena was all over him - smothering him with affection. It took all the self control I had not to let Joe go for round two. I knew what I had to do.

"He didn't push me off Joe. That was an accident. I bet him I could land on my feet if I jumped from a big height and well I'm obviously not Catwoman" It was possibly the worst lie I had ever heard. Ever.

Joe glared at me, not believing any of it "Is that true?"

"Yes" Nick and I said in unison.

"I'm so sorry man," Joe's face softened and he looked guilty.

"You better be," Selena snapped.

I rolled my eyes. If I wasn't removed from the girl's presence soon, I was sure I'd take a leaf out of Joe's book and smack her. I excused myself, needing to lie down for a while because I was aching. Brent directed me to his room and I left them to resolve current issues.

I fell on to the unmade bed. I could practically smell the testosterone filling the room. I'd messed up, so badly and I had bruises to prove it. I didn't expect everything to go wrong so soon. I growled in frustration, overly disappointed with myself.

I heard the door click open. I didn't sit up or make any attempt to acknowledge whoever it was. The bed sank with added weight. All I could see of them was a light blue t-shirt and I couldn't remember which boy that was.

"Why do you make me so mad?"

"Ease up you sound like me." I said, closing my eyes, ready to launch into a full blown war with him.

But it didn't come. Instead I felt him move closer to me. Then with hesitation, he kissed **me**. A simple one, incredibly soft like it didn't even happen. Things become much steamier when you're horizontal. It was just like the other day in his hallway, but we were closer; Nick on top of me slightly. It'd be awful if someone walked in, which was highly possible. The risk was giving me an extra kick.

I eased away, needing to breath. He rolled off me and lay next to me. He reached for my hand with his.

"What is this Miles?"

"This, is our secret" I moved myself into a position to kiss his lips. I lead a trail to his left ear where I whispered "_Nicholas_"

I felt him shiver against me, before I got up off Brent's bed. It had gone from brilliant to bad to amazing. All while his girlfriend was sitting not so far away, not knowing what her boyfriend and the girl she used were getting up to.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey, guys. I'm really sorry if it took so long. Midterms just ended this morning, I'm so stressed. My classmate got me in huge trouble with the school, and there's a possibility that I will never be part of the honor roll. Damn my life. Reviews will make me feel better, though. : )  
I'll try to upload chapter 11 by tonight, just to make up for my tardy. : ]**

Chapter 10

The past week had been the most insane seven days of my life. Around other people, Nick and I behaved how we always did. He still irritated me and I still had the over whelming urge to murder him whenever he opened his mouth. Yet whenever there was a fleeting chance, we'd be on each other in an instant; he'd kiss me, touch me, whisper arrangements in my ear. From corners of the library, nightly meetings on the corner of my road, general places where anybody could see what was going on. I didn't start anything anymore. Nick would be there whenever he had the opportunity, desperate to be near me. He wasn't aware that truthfully I wanted to run in the opposite direction.

And proving further what a self-revolving person he in fact is, he hasn't done anything to call off him and Selena. Yes, it was a major part of the plan that he wouldn't and I didn't know how my gut instinct knew that he would be a spineless cheating _asshole._

"Miley, somebody's here to see you," Braison called from downstairs.

I groaned, not in the mood to see Joe. I wasn't dressed for the occasion either; I was in a baggy **AFI** shirt and a pair of purple knickers. I didn't move though, I knew eventually he'd come up, regardless of me not greeting him.

"Hey," a person that was **definitely not** Joe said softly.

I leapt up to face Nick. He couldn't be here. I didn't like the thought of him being in my house, let alone something as personal as my bedroom. This room contained traces of me from when I was little to the present. And now he had polluted my Nick-free sanctuary. I grabbed a pair of denim shorts of my floor and pulled them on, feeling even more exposed.

"I look like a mess," I mumbled.

He smiled and moved closer to me "No, no you don't"

"Yes Nick, I do," I have mirrors and a pair of functioning eyes. Everything he said was either malicious or a lie.

He leant down and kissed me. I wasn't in the mood to play along today so I just stood, not reacting. Of course, he noticed and pulled away. He didn't look annoyed at all. His eyes fell on everything in my room. My bookcase, open wardrobe, computer and finally my wall of photographs. That grabbed his attention and he moved towards it. Different combinations of Braison and I, and Joe and I. A few containing Noah and a fair amount with Spencer, Trey and Brent. There were blank spaces, they once were filled with Selena.

"Why are you here?" I asked, rather rudely.

"I wanted to see you Miley,"

I huffed and fell back onto my bed. I heard Nick laugh lightly, before taking it upon himself to think he could join me.

"What's your favorite color?" he asked after a few wonderful moments of silence.

"Are you insane?" I hissed.

"No, I just want to know you inside out. So, favorite color?"

"It's blue, green, black _and _silver and before you ask, my favorite film is Fight Club, book - Invisible Monsters, band – a lot, food – pasta and I'm really fed up and tired right now," I listed, to prevent any more noise from him.

"Well, my answers would be exactly the same. Really. Miley, that's pretty cool don't you think?"

"Oh amazing," I scoffed "It's enough to make anybody wonder why we hate each other."

I caught my mistake the instant it rolled off my tongue. Nick wasn't fond of references to what was in our past. Now, he may believe that that is where the hatred lies, but it wasn't the case with myself.

"_Hated_ , Miley. Wrong tense." he corrected, reaching for my left hand.

"Yeah, I'm sorry" I forced out and edged closer to him

Nick was right though. We were similar in too many aspects. I knew that over ten years ago when we were the only children we weren't terrified by being social outcasts and used the library. It was reawakened that day when he walked into the classroom and acknowledged the new book study. Now, the same trivial favorites.

"You know, this is going to sound strange to you, but do you want to know why all of that happened?"

I perked up, not believing that he was going to confide in me already. Joe told me it was his defense mechanism because of stuff that happens at home. Only four people truly know about Nick's issues and he was already prepared to tell me. I nodded eagerly.

"Okay, when Joe moved into town, I was jealous you were his friend too. I disliked the fact I had to share my only friend. You probably don't remember, but I didn't really interact with people at school until Joe came and I couldn't bare anybody being friends with him. Especially you Miley,"

I deflated, he wasn't telling me what I thought he would at all. And I couldn't believe that only five minutes after the first lot of similarities, I was being hit with another. That was what I pin-pointed as the start of our downward spiral too.

"Why me?"

"I'd noticed you. I knew if I could just go over to you we'd have been close. Also you were the prettiest in our class, even back then. I kicked myself every day. I couldn't make an effort with you. Then Joe strolled in and straight away he grabbed you."

Nick was a violent shade of crimson. Deep in my stomach I had a huge tugging feeling. I was right when I thought he had the same reservations. What would life have been like if Joe hadn't come to our school? For a start, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't hate Nick. Without Joe, we wouldn't have snapped at each other. We'd have carried on in the way we had been, behind a book. As we grew older, maybe one of us would have said _hi_ or _smiled_ to the other. Right now, Nick wouldn't be lying on my bed because we were cheating on his girlfriend in my bid for revenge.

He'd probably be there because he would be my best friend. It's slightly ironic that Joe's wish for us to get along would probably have happened if we didn't know him.

"We would have been friends Nick," I said out loud.

"I know. Funny that."

"But I wouldn't want that. Who wants an existence without Joe Adams?" I smiled.

"And we'd have been best friends, so I wouldn't get to do this," he leant in and kissed me. It was so cheesy it actually made my stomach gripe, but I responded, **and I wanted to.** It wasn't an adrenaline fueled moment like they normally were, but a bittersweet moment. Even without the kicks, I couldn't deny that I was enjoying it.

Before I could register what was happening, I had Nick's shirt over his head, exposing his torso. Our lips barely separated as I wiggled myself out of the shorts I'd only just put on. My hands fell to his belt buckle and I began to undo it gently.

Nick's hand covered mine, stopping me. He tore away from me and asked softly "Are you sure?"

Suddenly, reality and my mind returned to me. I jerked away, like a bolt of electricity ran through me. "**No. No way- I can't**" I told us both. My eyes widened in absolute horror. What on earth was I about to do, with Nick Gray? The boy I hated. I sat up and ran to my bathroom, locking the door behind me.

My stomach acid found a new way to make me get sick. I leant over the toilet and proceeded to empty my stomach contents into it. I was about to do something that I wasn't prepared to do when started up the plan, I told myself even revenge wasn't worth getting that close to him. I flushed the toilet and rinsed my mouth out completely.

My reflection was awful. My eyeliner was smudged, my lips were swollen and my hair looked as if I had gone through with it. I threw water over my face to calm me down, before emerging again. I had no idea how I was going to redeem the situation.

But it was okay. I didn't need to fret. He had gone. In his place on my mattress was a piece of paper. I picked it up and read what he had wrote to me.

**"Miley, I thought you wouldn't want me to still be here when you came out. It's okay, I understand. I'll see you Monday. Nick x"**

"Well as long as you understand, everything's dandy Nick" I hissed at the paper before falling onto my bed and curled up in my sheets. I held them close to my face and inhaled. It smelt so much like him. I'd expected my reflexes to have pulled away from them instantly, but I kept myself buried in the sheets, breathing in through my nose often to continually smell him. I'd never acknowledged how nice he smelt before, I'd never realized.

He'd probably gone running to Selena's open arms. But I bet they weren't the only limbs she'd open for him. I shuddered, praying he went home. I knew he'd gone to her though. She would provide what I wouldn't. Pain swam through my bloodstream; hot, burning pain with a dash of fury. I wanted to go round there and call him every profanity under the sun. Tell him how worthless he was.

I wanted him to be gone when I came out. Now I wanted him as far away from her as possible, I wanted him within my sight


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey, guys! I've been really busy lately. I mean, you know. Second Sem's starting tomorrow. YUCK. But, I can't do anything about it. AND OH. I'm getting braces! : | Weird, but nah. It's okay. I fell in love this week. :x That's why I'm so giddy and hyper and I turned insomniatic. : )) If that's even a word. : )) So, yeah. This chapter sucks, but hope you like it. **

Chapter 11

I had come so close to sleeping with Nick Gray, it repulsed me how close we in fact were and how _I_ started it. I was going to hand myself over to that cheating, foul, disgrace of a human. My siblings were glancing at me with awkward looks of worry whenever I emerged from my room to get food, only to regurgitate it seconds later. All they know was that a boy I had a total dislike for was in my room for at least an hour last night, he left, slightly disheveled and I've been moping ever since. Anybody with half a neuron would be concerned. Noah being Noah didn't question me and the whole disowning him thing prevented Braison from asking what was wrong; so they had to come to their own conclusions.

It's times like these you need a mother. With one I probably wouldn't have gotten into this mess to begin with. She has complete responsibility for the slutty, deceiving monster I've become.

The hiccup isn't enough to make me bail though, oh no, it's made me more determined to continue.

"Miley Babes," I looked up to see Joe in my doorway.

His eyes made me want to cry again, they were literally making my heart ache. That boy, my best friend. He was so full of concern for me, out to protect me constantly. I would always let him down. He knew I was distressed by him, but he came over and sat next to me. Enveloping my hand between his.

"Brais called me and asked me to come see you. The kid is really worried about you. So am I Miles," he said softly.

I lowered my eyes to our hands. I watched his thumb graze mine, moving backwards and forwards - comfort. I licked my dry lips, unsure what to tell him.

"Right now, I really need a mom" I wasn't exactly **lying**.

"I know hon, but that isn't just it," he said sternly, and it made me shiver.

"No really Joey, that's the majority. And I'm slightly upset about the Nick thing still,"

He swallowed that. Sighing, he brought me into his chest, cuddling me tightly. He didn't know how to reply to that and I was grateful. It would mean I no longer had to avoid the truth.

But I could feel him preparing himself to speak, he kept stopping himself though. I edged away and I wrapped myself in my Nick smelling sheets. I'd disturbed the scent, I even saw Joe sniff, checking it, before brushing it off. I watched his brow furrow, then shake his head. His eyes would flick in my direction, then away quickly. Lips parting to form the first syllable, but no voice followed.

My heart was pounding, anxiety choking me. **He knew, Nick must have told him.**

"Miles, I really need to tell you something. Ask you about some things --"

"I'm an awful person Joe I know, I am so sorry. You have to forgive me, I couldn't bare life without you," I cut him off, sobbing slightly.

He looked startled, and moved closer to me again. He placed a hand on my cheek.

"No," he said firmly " no. Miles you are fantastic. You're the most beautiful person I know. God, do you not know that?"

**He didn't have a clue.**

"And don't worry, I am never leaving your side," he hesitated, his eyes moving from mine to my lips. I'm sure I gasped as he ever so slightly edged forwards. But he stopped and dropped his hand. _Of course not._ He stayed still and glared at the black material wrapped around me.

"Why do your sheets smell like a boy?" he asked quietly.

"Must be you, you're the only boy that's been on them." I said quickly. Too quickly.  
"I don't smell like that, it's like... I know I've smelt it before."

"Yeah, yourself silly," I forced a hollow laugh.

He scanned the rest of my room. As if he expected to find someone stashed away. I half expected him to go and check inside my wardrobe. Instead he leant over me and grabbed something off the side of my nightstand. Paper.

"Nick," he mumbled "It's Nick. That's what he smells like and this is of him. Are you actually going to tell me what's going on?"

Joe's soft features had hardened. His eyes were looking at me so intensely. At this moment he wasn't Nick's biggest fan, and he's naturally assumed something sinister was going on.

"Nothing," I whispered.

"Miley don't lie! What I can see is the last time you were together, he hurt you at Brent's. Now, he's clearly been in your room since and Braison told me you've been crying constantly and being sick. What has that..._prick_ done to you?"

"I promise Joseph! He was here for all of five minutes yesterday. Mr. Thomas suggested that we should get together for class. He came uninvited, we argued, I went into my bathroom to escape and told him to leave. Came back and he was gone and left that note. Today, I feel ill with a stomach bug. No way related to Nick unless he slipped me poison."

That, was the worst thing I'd heard. Joe swallowed my lies - like a handful of pills. It was believable but terrible. His whole body was tense still, yet his eyes had softened. He leant and kissed my cheek quickly before straightening up.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, meaning it.

"I should have mentioned it earlier," I shrugged, avoiding his wonderful eyes.

"It's just.... he angers me. A lot more recently. He's my best male friend, but I can no longer tolerate his actions. Why? I don't know. I just feel like I need to defend you more,"

"I love you so much Joey," I gushed. Tears rolled down my cheeks again. This time over someone completely worthy. He hugged me immediately and rocked me softly, singing in my ear. Chills ran down my spine with every word that rolled so smoothly off his tongue. I am the worst thing that's happened to Joseph Nathaniel Adams. He should have been _normal_ all those years ago and thought all girls were diseased. That way he and Nick could have been friends like they're meant to be.

"That was so lovely. Your voice is amazing,"

"You think? You should come and hear us play sometime,"

"I think I might,"

"Really!" and these was the lovable hyperactive kid I know and love. "You should! Spence is a kick ass drummer, Brent is finally adjusting to playing in a band and Nick, well he is the skeleton. He writes breathtakingly good stuff."

He chirruped away happily and began to hum, possibly something they had done.

"**Sit tight I'm gonna need you to keep time come on just snap snap snap your fingers for me,**" he sang instructions which I did for him "**Good good, now we're making some progress come on just tap tap tap your toes to the beat.**"

Then I realized Joe wasn't being a dork and that it was lyrics. Some really dumb lyrics. Nick Gray can't write to save the scene obviously. Of course I wouldn't deflate Joe's hopes and dreams though.

"You know--" I cut him off "--some guy kept writing lyrics to me. He stopped, but you should seriously think about using them rather than them. His are so complex and full of meaning - where as Nick's... by the sound of it..." I suggested, thinking how amazing that would be for them.

Joe raised an eyebrow and a smirk tugged at his lips. "Oh really? Like what?"

"Palahniuk quotes put in smartly. And I'm sure one of his songs is about alcohol addiction. But I only have fragments of each song. And I…erm, don't know who they are," I admitted, blushing slightly.

"You haven't worked it out?"

I shook my head and frowned at his shock that I didn't know.

"So when do you practice?"

"A lot less recently. Another thing that's really bothering me. Nick keeps backing out of everything with us. At first I thought it was Selena, I mean you know how flat out annoying the girl is. But he's not even with her that much,"

My heart was soaring at his words. I'd put a wedge between them already. Perhaps that'd mean Nick didn't go to her last night. I had to contain a full smile from cracking out on my face. That would really provoke quizzing.

"So you're pretty much the last person to see him properly then," Joe sighed. I could see it was killing him not having Nick around. And that was my fault. I knew this would hurt him, I just didn't see Nick deserting everything to see me. Joe was the last person I'd want to hurt - and I had seen the effects; a shadow of his usual self.

"Phone him now or go see him," I told him

He looked at me like it was the most ludicrous suggesting in the world "No you need me right now. I want to stay here"

"I don't want you here like this though. Seriously, it's more depressing. Go and spend time with him"

"No, I'll cheer up. I always do around you. I'll see what I can do with him after school tomorrow. Will you be there?"

"I doubt it. I don't want to pass this thing on. Another reason why you shouldn't be here. I'm probably contagious."  
His lips formed that amazing smile he had. Altering his face completely.

"You know, if you had an STD I would still have unprotected sex with you,"

"Joseph Adams, who said I'd have sex with you full stop!" I shrieked.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey readers.  
I am completely sorry it took me so long to update my story. It's just that too many things are going on in my life right now and it's hard to just find time to update my story. I have braces now, and yeah. Things have changed and I don't even know who I am anymore. Sinulog's tomorrow. It's this festival here in my place where people dance in the streets. It's hard to enjoy because I don't know what's gonna happen. I have never been this confused in my entire life, and I don't expect you guys to understand. I don't expect you guys to read this really long author's note but I'm still gonna blab. Lately, I've been liking this person. He's really nice. He's sweet, charming and funny. We always text, we're always on the phone but we never have the guts to talk to each other when we see one another somewhere. His brother is really nice to me. He's actually nicer to me than Joe is sometimes. Joe is the one I like, and his brother's name is Brody. Ironically, Joe's name just had to be in the story which makes it hard to forget about him. It's even harder to cope because Joe's the only friend I can turn to right now, and he can't even be there for me. Brody's always there for me but I heard rumors about him hating me and although he already confirmed that he didn't, I still have that feeling in my gut that it's true. And, I just don't know anymore.**

Hope you enjoy this chapter though. ; ) 

Chapter 12

"Are you sure you're not going in?" Noah asked from the doorframe of my bedroom, speaking timidly.

"Yeah, I really don't feel strong enough" That was truthful; I felt too weak emotionally to be sitting in the same room as Nick. However, I also knew Nick would know I wasn't genuinely ill in the medical sense. He'd think I was too ashamed to face him, but I can't decide whether that is good or bad.

Noah crept away, pulling my door shut. I threw my bed sheets off and practically ran to the bathroom to get ready. I didn't plan to remain in my bed for a second longer, moping. I'd use my open day well, and sort the house out. Or lay outside in the sun whilst writing coursework up onto my laptop. It would be a productive day regardless to what I chose to do. I showered and dressed, ready.

Within my first hour of the day I'd cleaned my own room thoroughly and proceeded to dust my parents' part-time room. I delayed myself by not resisting the urge to step into my mother's wardrobe again and browse through the articles in there.

Behind a collection of designer handbags, I discovered a misplaced shoebox. I pulled it out to put with the rest, but it was heavier than it should be. Due to curiosity, I opened it. Inside was nothing of significant wealth. Money wise or emotionally to her. They crammed **everything** that would remind them they were parents into it apart from us. Photographs from when they were around, birth certificates, the basics. They hadn't held onto anything of sentimental value, such as a teddy bear. Things that usually mothers would treasure.

I wasn't aware I was crying until a tear hit a picture of my father and me. I threw the box with all its content on the floor and walked away from the room. Not just the material things, but them as people.

I sat down on the top step of the staircase and released every emotion I held for them. Determined this was the last time. I heard the door of the house click open, but I stayed, crying.

"Miley? Oh no Miley stop it," they ran up the stairs and pulled me into warm arms. Instantly I breathed in. Inhaling. Nick held me, shushed me.

"Why are you here?" I asked eventually

"You weren't in registration. You never miss school usually. It's about the other day isn't it? You don't want anything to do with me anymore do you?" he sounded incredibly worried. And if it wasn't for his narcissistic ways, I'd probably be inclined to pity him.

"Yes. I mean no. I mean... it is about then, but this isn't," I replied.

"Why are you crying now?"

I stopped. I pulled away from him and leant against the wall as I sat. He was being caring. He'd clearly come to my side when he saw I wasn't there. He even noticed I wasn't to begin with. He cared enough, to risk suspension by skipping lessons to come and see how I was.

"It's my parents," I couldn't stop myself from being open with him. The boy that actually used my parents' absence against me. I was now telling him, willingly. And it felt okay to confide in him "I mean why? How do they sleep at night in them luxury hotel rooms, knowing they have three children, alone in Las Vegas? Surely they should be fairly concerned? I am so alone. I don't know how much I can trust Joe anymore. I'm doubting whether Braison and I will talk again and Noah is just so anti-social. Selena doesn't have time for anyone but you. I rely on others, so what happens now that I have nobody?"

"Your parents are stupid Miles. God, you're the daughter everyone wishes for. You're beautiful, intelligent, loving... if I was your parent I'd have you locked up in a house in some remote village so nothing could harm or corrupt you. This will sound _horrid_, but I care Miles, I'll stop you being alone. But you need to talk to Joe and your brother. You'll still have me though," Nick pressed his lips against the top of my head and I relaxed.

We stayed there, in silence. Allowing me to absorb what was happening here, what he just said.

"Miles, only Joe and Spencer know this outside my family. Well, my sister doesn't even know. At least I hope she doesn't. My dad... he's an alcoholic. Yeah I know, it's not out of the ordinary anymore. But he... he can get... abusive,"

My head lifted off his shoulder so I could look at his face and my got teary. He looked **fragile**.

"He doesn't hurt you does he?" I whispered.

"Sometimes, if he's really out of it,"

I heard myself whimper and my hands clasped over my mouth.

"That day I barged into you and you flinched... I made it all worse,"

That was no pretense. I genuinely felt remorse, felt disgusted that I'd done that.

"You didn't know. And it isn't a lot. I'd rather him do it to me than my sister or my mom."

For the hundredth time in 48 hours I cried; not self pity or pain. I was crying Nick's tears. A sinking feeling struck me. When I went to Joe's, I mocked him for the tear stains on his cheeks. His father must have been drunk, being insulting. Nick must have known he'd surpassed the limit of just words. The panic on Joe's face when Nick walked out. When he turned and told me to go after him and stop him, otherwise he'd go home and if he did...

"**It would be my fault.**" I whispered between tears "Nick, that day at Joe's and I made you go home. How much did he hurt you?"

Nick flinched against me. He understood what I was trying to find out and why. "It doesn't matter"

"It matters to me Nick! If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have laid a finger on you that day. How much, Nick?" My voice was shaking, but I was shocked at how demanding I sounded.

"It was a few punches in the stomach. He tends to avoid my face," he laughed hollowly.

I reached out and allowed my fingertips to caress his cheek. His eyes flicked up to look at me. Look in my eyes. I leant closer and pressed my lips against his. I needed to express the sympathy I had for him. I had to comfort him.

"How can he do that to you?" I mumbled "Why do you let him Nick?"

"He's my Dad, Miles. If he's hurting me I know it isn't anyone else. You must understand that,"

"How does your mother allow it to happen? Nick, you have to leave. Go and stay with Spence or Joe. Please. He shouldn't get away with it," I was close to getting on my hands and knees to beg him

"I will. If you and your siblings acknowledge social services of your neglect--"

"That's not fair Nick!" I hissed.

"Miley, you're right. It's not fair on you," he urged.

"You don't understand. I like it Nick. I'm not depressed by it, or that stressed. It's not so conventional, but I deal. I manage, **we** manage. You're getting hurt Nick. It's completely different. You're being irrational."

We argue about opinions. We bicker over nothing. Now, we fight about each others' welfare. We can never just get along.

"But there's a chance he'll stop. He's been sober all weekend. He promised me this is it. He's even getting help. So I have to help him, he's my father"

"And they're my brother and sister"

"Not your _children_. You're a child yourself--"

"Nick, we have different problems. Mine is so minor compared to yours,"

He stood up, and I was sure he was going to go back to school. He'd come to see how I was and he got a full scale argument in return for his consideration. Instead he pulled me up and wrapped his arms around my waist, drawing me in.

"I'm fine. Now don't interrupt, or snap. Miles you **aren't** okay. I came here and you were sobbing over them. You shouldn't feel alone. A sixteen year old girl should be partying, hooking up with whoever or have a committed boyfriend. Not a stay at home sister who is the... other girl. Miles, I think I- no I _know_ I lo-"

Right then I cut him off by kissing him. I couldn't allow him to say that. I don't know why, but my gut knew he couldn't. He didn't protest or withdraw though. He kissed back.

We moved eventually from the top step, backing into my room. He eased me onto my bed like an expert. My mind ran away; thanking whatever possessed me to look presentable today and tidy my room. I pulled away slightly to breathe and think.

"I know you do," I whispered, before continuing from where I paused it.

However it proceeded. My top was over my head, my jeans were thrown on the floor next to Nick's _Blink 182_ t-shirt. My hand rested on Nick's belt buckle, like before. Everything stopped. He looked at me the same way but it was different. The lust and worry where there, but the caring and loving caught me.

"Are you sure?" he asked, like before.

I waited for my instinct to kick in and my hatred to push him off me and return to the toilet basin again. Instead I pushed myself closer and it resulted in Nick Gray's skinny jeans joining the other articles of clothing on my bedroom floor.


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, okay. Before you guys freak out on me and say, "what the hell took you so long to update?", please give me time to explain. It's summer, and I wasn't home for a whole two months. My story was in my flash drive and my diva mother told me she'd take it but she left it anyway. I have written the story already, until the last word, and I didn't want to change anything cause if I change a word, I knew it wouldn't feel right. I'm sorry if it took me quite a long time, since I had a lot of adjustments I had to do in my life. I'm finally over Joe, thank goodness, because I knew that I had a lot of other things to worry about right now. Love can wait. A friend of mine passed away last month which also made it hard for me to deal because I wasn't able to go to his funeral, only because I was out of the country. I just hope you guys read this author's note cause this shows how deeply sorry I am for not updating and leaving you guys idle like that. School starts in a week, and I'll try to have 10 chapters updated before my first day.**

Once again, I'm truly sorry.

I hope you like Chapter 13. (:

Chapter 13

I am really starting to enjoy it. Sneaking off with Nick whenever I could. We were growing in confidence and took greater risks. Whenever we were in a room together, he needed a little physical contact. Usually a brush against skin, pecks on the cheek, once he kissed me quickly while Joe prattled around for something when we were at his house. Hell, **I** needed the contact as well. For security, to know I hadn't been figured out.

Selena, seemed to be as oblivious as ever. She had me completely shunned now and I no longer gripped on. I wasn't reliant on her at all anymore. In fact, the plan had worked. Plain and simple.

It was the end of school on Friday again, and I was going to Nick's. It wouldn't be my first time in the house, but the first time since I found out what happened in the four walls. I've been trying desperately to keep him away from his house father as much as I could. He saw through it immediately.

"Hey, Miley!" I rotated quickly to see who it was. Bailey Ryan and her two friends, Brenda and Ashley.

"Erm, hi..." I replied, unsure as to why I was being called. Bailey and I sit next each other in Physics since I moved from Selena. It was minimal, polite conversation between the three girls and I. They weren't the "it" crowd, God no, but this situation wasn't usual.

"I'm having a party, no scratch that, a gathering tomorrow. All girls. Just sociable fun. And I'd love it if you came" Bailey beamed.

"That's really nice, but I have to check something. Which one of you wants to get in with one of the boys?"

Defense kicked in. I blame Selena.

I watched as Ashley squirmed uncomfortably. Brenda and Bailey noticed and sent confused looks to her.

"I like Kevin," she blurted, turning crimson.

"Woah, really?" Bailey squealed "Okay, well that isn't why I asked Miley. Hell I didn't even know."

I looked at her, trying to make out if it was the truth. "Yeah sure," I agreed.

"Great! See you tomorrow. Or do you want to come with us now? We're going to the cinema."

"Thanks, but I've gotta go to Nick Gray's" I managed to sound full of dismay as I grimaced at the thought of being at Nick's.

"Oh no, that boy is vile to you isn't he?"

Bailey shocked me, right there. I was expecting a chorus of '_O-M-G you're sooooo lucky_'

"Yeah, he is. So I'll see you tomorrow," I smiled, genuinely in her direction before walking towards, then out, of the school doors. Leaning casually against his car was Nick.

I felt a million pairs of eyes on me as I stepped towards him, female eyes. I didn't acknowledge him, just climbed into the backseat. Kevin would take passenger, making the ride so wonderfully painful.

"Miles! What a shocking surprise," he said as he slipped in.

"That was my aim Kev," I laughed.

"Seriously why are you in Nick's car? Did you plant a bomb? I need to know these things before taking shotgun."

I laughed some more, ending conversation. I didn't want to lie if I could avoid it. Nick was watching me through the mirror; clearly annoyed at my lack of words or anything earlier. I rolled my eyes, the little and large things still _thoroughly_ irritate me.

"Whatcha doing NickG? I mean, the only time I spend with you now is in this very automobile," Kevin turned to the driver instead of me. What he said reminded me of Joe and I felt a burst of anger surge through me.

"Yeah **NickG**. It better be good because you are killing Joey. I hate seeing him so upset," I snapped.

He was now seething anger at me through the reflection.

"Jesus are you and Joe together yet?" Kevin asked and I figured attention was back to me.

"Huh?"

"You are kidding me Miley! Really it's so obvious. You and Joe are like... Harry and Hermione, Ross and Rachel, Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth!"

While Kevin rambled I watched Nick. His knuckles had turned white on the steering wheel, his jaw locked and he had a dead-pan expression on his face. He looked more than capable of murdering someone. And I wasn't sure if it was Kevin or Joe.

"Another Harry and Hermione fan? I love you Kevin! Come round mine and we'll make sweeeeeet pumpkin pie sometime," I ruffled his hair.

That was when Nick flipped. He slammed the breaks, even though we were outside his house, but it was a completely unnecessary temper tantrum.

"What the ?" he asked, his voice quivering with anger.

"Woah dude. Pumpkin pie is the Harmony mascot! High five to that sister!" Kevin held his hand up for me which I gladly slapped.

"Anyways, I'll catch you late Nick. See ya real soon babes" he turned and winked before getting out the car and crossing the road to his house.

Leaving me with the return of the complete jerk. I didn't want to get out of the car first but Nick was making no effort of movement. I unbuckled my seatbelt and sighed, waiting for the brewing argument to launch.

"What's going on with you and Joe?" he demanded.

"Oh come on! You're taking that seriously? Mr. Hypocrite of the state."

"And what does that mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean"

"I'm sorry! It's just so likely that you and him have something and it would bother me," Nick sighed, backing down.

"One rule for me and another for you," I snorted, not ready to drop it, "I could do whatever I wanted with Joe!"

"You started this Mi! Don't play that card now,"

I knew I couldn't say anything else even though I could continue to bite back for hours if I pleased. I got out of the car, slamming the door shut and debated whether or not to march home. Instead I went to his front door. Immediately I was hit with the unsettling feeling. I knew why now. I stood, staring through the glass to the front room. Where Mr. Gray would drink himself senseless and Nick would just be trying to help - earning a smack.

"Miles," Ryan was behind me, his voice soft, like I'd grown used to. "He isn't home. Nobody is," He assured me. I was relieved a little by this. I doubted I could look at either of his parents without being overwhelmed with the urge to yell at them.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, turning to face him "Nothing is happening. It never will"

Even though Kevin could have seen through the windows of his house, I pressed my lips briefly against Nick's. His hand rested on my cheek and I felt even more secure to be near to his house. He smiled crookedly at me before turning to open the front door. That was when I felt someone watching.

"Oh no," I muttered. Standing at the front of the drive was Miranda. I faced back to Nick who turned back at my words. His face was drained of color, just like mine probably had. I knew she wouldn't react badly, but the mere fact she knew was awful. It was no surprise when she came bounding up to me squealing happily.

"Nick you did it! Finally! Oh I'm so pleased," Miranda grinned.

"Nick I better go," I mumbled, before running slightly away before either Gray decided to stop me going. I heard Nick call after me, but thankfully I was left to scurry home quickly.

I was so reckless to act so publicly, anybody could have seen. It just happened to be Nick's little sister, who had been waiting for this to happen since she was old enough to figure out her brother liked me that way. I guess they have a good relationship, and if Nick asked her to keep quiet she would. Or she'd convince him to end it with Selena. I hissed in frustration, continuing to run homebound.

When I got in, Braison was on his way out. He cast a hopeful glance in my direction. With what Nick told me the other day buzzing in my mind, I shot him a fleeting smile. He looked stunned before returning it and continuing to leave. He wasn't pushing it.

I'd just about got through the front door completely when the house phone began to ring. There wasn't a chance in hell Noah would answer it, so rather than getting a drink like I planned to, I grabbed the phone. The only person that ever contacted here was Joe anyway.

"Hello,"

"Destiny? Is that you or Noah."

My heart stopped and the phone came close to falling out of my clammy hand.

"It's Destiny," I squeaked into the speaker. Of course, she couldn't recognize which voice belonged to which daughter. That would require conversing with us.

"Hello honey, it's Mom,"

"I know,"

"Oh, that's real sweet" she gushed "anyway how are you?"

"I'm good thank you, _mom_. Where are you?"

"Staying with some childhood friends. We're coming back to Vegas in a few days though."

That translates to get yourself busy and make plans outside the four walls of your bedroom that day.

"For how long?" I asked weakly, not really ready to accept the harsh reality of four hours.

"Honey, we're staying for awhile. At least a year I expect. Until the other house is ready."

"The what?" I shrieked.

"House darling. I must go sweetheart, I'll see you soon. Give Noah and Brais my love,"

My shaking hand put the phone back on the hook. Unbelievable. They'd bought a new house. Probably not even in Las Vegas. They were completely leaving us now. They wouldn't even return briefly to collect things anymore.

"Noah! Get down, now!" I yelled up the stairs, fiddling around in my school bag for my cell phone so I could get contact with my brother.

They'd nailed the casket that we were in for the last time and were ready to bury us for eternity. I had to prepare them for the most painful blow ever.


	14. Chapter 14

**Thanks for the four reviews I got on the last chapter. I don't care if I got a few reviews because I left you guys hanging so I'm gonna be nice.. But I won't put up the next chapter until I actually get a reasonable amount of reviews. How does that sound?**

Okay, okay.

Here goes Chapter 14. (:

Chapter 14

I was standing outside Bailey's house, running through how bad this evening was going to be in my mind. It was 5:00pm, I'd been preparing myself since 11:00am with all possible scenarios of horror. The only female I've ever been remotely close to was Selena and let's look at where that got me in the long haul. A room full of pumping estrogen and catty tongues fueled by liquor. I was going to be judged so brutally tonight before I even spoke.

Resulting in me diving into my mother's closet again. After yesterday's chat with her, I had to tidy the contents I'd dropped on the floor anyway. I just emerged in a beautiful dress to wear over my jeans again.

"Miley! I'm so thrilled you came," Bailey hugged me "you look amazing,"

"Thanks, so do you," and that's when I realized I was actually under dressed.

"Come on, everybody is in my room," she smiled and I followed as she walked towards a room which definitely had Fall Out Boy playing.

"You actually know them?" I asked excitedly " I thought it was just me and the boys,"

"Oh wow, yep I do!" By that point I knew it wouldn't be as bad as I first contemplated. Till the door swung open and amongst the ten or so female faces, she was still the first I noticed; Selena.

"So what are we drinking?" I suddenly had the urge for something that was going to burn my throat and shrivel my liver.

It was my fourth glass of the pink, peach hinted vodka however that I recalled Nick and all the problems he had because of this substance. It was my fifth when I really didn't care about it and started to have fun. I'm sociable when I am alcohol fueled apparently, since I would consider out of the eleven girls hear, Bailey, Demi, Addison, Jessica, Eve, Brenda and Ashley my friends.

"So, girlies. Let's start discussing the interesting stuff" Chloe Harper giggled, beckoning everyone to sit in a circle. "Current interests of luuuuuuurve. And seriously no boyfriends."

I would normally have headed for the door at something like that being raised, but I was the first one to participate to the topic.

"Oh, well we know Ashley's" I blurted, not quite in control of my actions.

"Kevin Deleasa!" she squealed, unlike yesterday where she was reduced to an embarrassed blithering fool. Partly because she was sober then, partly because we'd never talked before.

"You know, I don't see that, but his friend Nick. He is **gorgeous**," Demi, who was next to Ashley said. I hadn't warmed to her a great deal anyway, her statement tarnished any hope of friendship we had. The fact everyone agreed except Bailey, Ashley and myself enraged me more.

"Well I am going out with him," Selena reminded everyone smugly, which resulted in Bailey wearing an expression that clearly meant she was questioning why she invited her.

"Okay then, Bailey and Miles. Since you're the only ones that don't find Ryan Ross flipping perfect, who do you like?" Chloe asked.

"Oh," I pondered. There was no one. Technically I could just say Nick - none of the people in the room were aware that it could break the dating thing restriction. I would rather look like an idiot than lie like that, to that level of desperation "_Joe_,"

"You can't say boyfriends Miles," Addison slurred slightly.

"Good job he isn't then." I laughed.

Silence washed over the group. Now, it could be my eyes tricking me, but they wore matching expressions of disbelief and it was incredibly unnerving. Even Bailey looked doubtful.

"Seriously? I was going to vote for you as best couple and everything," Brenda moaned, clearly more bothered by who her new choice was.

"No offense Miley, but I hated you for about two years because of the way you and Joe are with each other. And like, recently, the way he looks at you is just so... intense. It's so envy worthy," Sydney sighed heavily.

"Ah, well I promise you we're just friends," I smiled, at least I tried while my eyes searched for a full glass of anything.

"No way! You like him and he clearly likes you, you've gotta do something Miley!" Jessica patted my head in what I assumed was a gesture of encouragement and affection.

The girls continued to talk and scream occasionally around me, but I withdrew my attention from everything surrounding me. It fitted. Not the liking of Joe, but Joe liking _me_. The way he reacted to another boy being in my room and how suddenly he can't stand Nick communicating with me. Evidence was there, I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't even figure out my own thoughts on the situation. But the whole time I thought about it, the image of Nick's jealousy yesterday wouldn't go away.

I stood and stumbled slightly out of the room for a while. So I could focus completely. Ashley had followed after me and sat next to me against the wall.

"You didn't know till now huh?" she asked, to which I shook my head.  
"And I don't even know if I feel more for him. You wouldn't understand how messed up everything in my life is at the moment Ash. Just Joe and Nick,"

I flinched when I realized the second male name that rolled off my tongue out loud. However Ashley was pretty wasted, she probably wouldn't recall it tomorrow when her head was in the toilet.

"Joe **and** Nick?"

"Do you have a free hour," I laughed hoarsely. Alcohol loosened my lips enormously and that lovely habit of thinking before I spoke flittered out of the window.

"Nick has liked me for like, ten years now. Well, the other day he told me he loved me. But I hate him, I really do, but now I'm even confused by that. Joe has been sticking up for Nick's behavior since I've known him, but now he's punched him and threatened him over my feelings. That, is the brief version."

"Oh, wow. Who needs fiction?"

Her words reminded me of Joe's from what seemed so long ago, when really it was a couple of months. Back when life made sense. A smile cracked on my face due to memories of Joe. How it used to be. I was talking to Braison, Joe and I were so relaxed, Selena was pretending to be my friend, Nick still hated me and I hated him. Put like that, back then wasn't so simple either, but it was logical. Now Braison and I are strangers, Joe is so uptight around everyone, Selena caused it all and Nick loves me.

"We won't remember this tomorrow will we?"

"Not a thing," she confirmed.

"Good, cause forgive me father for I have sinned and Ashley you are about to get shocked..."

I told her everything. I needed to confess to someone and currently Ash was the greatest person for that. She listened, without interruptions or judging looks. Which made me say even more and talk about things I hadn't even thought of till now.

"I understand completely, I don't agree, but it doesn't change the fact I think we'll be friends. Anyway, I'll forget in a few hours" Ashley smiled "But, you're kidding yourself about hating Nick still."

It was ludicrous, but I didn't snap or comment. I was gracious of her attitude and was absolutely convinced this was the start of a real friendship.

We went back into the room and the music was back on, drinks were refilled and everyone was dancing. Except Selena, in the corner on her phone.

"We've invited more people of the other gender. More interesting in someeee way-" Megan bounded over to us "-and we got hold of Joe and Kev- kev eeen for you two,"

Ashley and I looked ready to kill, but I got distractedly the thought of who Selena was on the phone too. And my drunken mind threw more plots in my direction. This one was jealousy. I grabbed a bottle of beer from Bailey's dresser and downed it. I wondered how I was still standing.

Joe's P.O.V.

"For sake," I muttered when I saw Miley dancing with some girl. Miley doesn't dance, not with me, let alone people she's known for hours not years. She was drunk.

She must have heard me, or seen me, because she bounced over. Throwing herself into my arms.

"JoeyKins!" she squealed, hugging me but leaning on me to support her.

"Miles, what have you done?" I asked quietly, but still at shouting level over the music.

"Well, I had a drink or seven," she said so matter of fact. I wanted to shake her. Miley didn't drink, she had tarnished many of her morals in one night. And I didn't like it at all.

"Where's Kev and _him_?" she looked around, not noticing Kevin who was all of three feet away from her.

"Why have you done this? I don't understand." I asked, she would usually tell me. Something must have happened for her to do this.

"I decided to be a normal girl. On that is **fun**. Fun is attractive isn't it? I mean, I'm not attractive because I'm never having fun. I mean I have _fun_ but I don't have **fun**." Miley spewed a load of word vomit, and I felt my lips turn into a smile. She was being cute.

"Seeeeeee you're grinning like I'm fun. So you find me attractive huh?" she tried to poke my chest but missed completely. I caught her as she giggled.

"Trust me babes, I do. More so when we have fun without the hangover the next day," I felt my cheeks burning, but I kept the cockiness in my tone.

She seized up and I was convinced it was at my words which started a panic in my mind. But her eyes were glaring at something over my shoulder. I went to see what was bothering her, but before I could she was falling again. So I switched my full attention back to her. She seemed tiny, smaller than normal. She looked up, her cheeks flushed and her blue eyes sparkling.

And I couldn't help leaning down and kissing her. It wasn't ideal considering the circumstances, but it still felt perfect. Even for the two seconds before I pulled away.

She smiled meekly up at me, but her eyes returned to the place over my shoulder.  
"No, wait. Nick!" she yelled before racing off quickly.  
Leaving me standing there, completely unsure as to what that meant.

**So, I'm leaving it there. (: I hope you guys liked this chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey, guys. It's been quite awhile. I'm halfway through my first quarter in sophomore year, and it's alright so far. I feel so disappointed with myself, it's been more than a month, about two months actually. I am so sorry. It's just that we have a new grading system at our school. Instead of 60%, it became 75% so it's a lot harder to get high grades, and instead of having two semesters and four quarters, we have three semesters and three quarters. There are so many changes that I couldn't even find time to entertain myself. Enough of this, though. Thinking of school just makes me loathe it more. Two chapters will be up today to make up for my delay. Once again, I'm deeply sorry.**

Hope you like this chapter!

Chapter 15

It was all wrong. I shouldn't have left Joe like that, but as Nick exited, immediately I followed. His face was heartbreaking, he looked **heartbroken**. After yesterday when I promised nothing was going to happen with Joe, he had to see that. I wanted him to feel jealous, but when I got that reaction, I just wanted nothing more than to turn the clocks back.

I followed him as fast as I could, but he was already out the front door and I was staggering all over the place.

"Nick please!" I yelled, falling off balance and tripping slightly off the sidewalk. I jumped back on as a car brushed my side slightly. Their horn beeping and my gasp caught Nick's attention and he looked back at me stepping out of the path of the cars. That made him race back to me.

"Are you okay? Did you get hurt? You're not..." he stopped "you're drunk,"

Silence was chilling in this scenario. He dropped his hands from touching me like I repulsed him. His eyes only confirmed his disgust and he looked pained. Emotions sobered me up enough to think clearly.

"No Nick. I have had a few drinks. I've never done it before and I'm not him Nick, I'm not going to hurt you,"

"That's really not the point-" he spat sourly "-and yes Mi, you have hurt me. Kissing Joe."

"He kissed me!" I said defensively "You saw that Nick,"

"Did you stop him? In fact, most of the girls were discussing a confession of yours earlier,"

Oh I hate how things catch up on you. The fact I'm being treated so brutally by him, however, was laughable.

"You're a fine one to talk!"

"Not this again," he scoffed.

"Yes this again. How dare you judge me like this when you're cheating on your girlfriend. Do you even like her? Because I recall you mentioning **love** to me. I suppose that was a way of getting into my bed right? As for the drinking, you have no idea what happened that made me flip enough to that. Guess what? I've never had so much fun in my life as I did back there. Joe is my best friend, and yes I've realized that he in fact likes me more. Maybe I like him, so what? I am not committed to you. I can stop whatever this is with the snap of my fingers,"

"Go on then," he taunted, staring at me icily.  
"No,"  
"Why not?"  
"I don't want to,"

He quickly closed the gap between us and kissed me. We were still angry and it was evident with the roughness. But Nick pulled away sharply, regretfully.

"I can't with the alcohol," he said quietly.

It was fine by me, the hug we shared instead was good enough; better than good. Every part of me was pressed against him, almost too close. It was much more intimate than a kiss right now. Standing in the embrace at the dead of night on a sidewalk, everything was so quiet.

"Somebody is going to tell me what's going on right now," That was until Joseph Adams made a guest appearance.

"Can you walk me home?" I asked him, jumping away from Nick. Panic suffocated me. I couldn't deny anything, but the liquor that was coursing through my veins was giving me too much confidence.

Joe. My sweet, lovable, _goof_. He looked so cold, like he was chiseled from stone. He nodded and pulled me away from Nick. We were ten meters away before he let go of my arm and broke the quiet.

"So?" he prompted harshly.

"You'll hate me if you don't already," I whispered, already verging on tears.

He sighed, running his hand through his hair "I meant what I said when I told you I can never hate you. I'm always going to love you Miley Stewart. Perhaps I won't **like** you for awhile, but we'll work through it."

"I'm so vile. I don't deserve that Joe. It's all just a scheme,"

Was it anymore though?

I started from the very beginning. Although I skimmed over the parts that involved people other than Nick, Selena and myself. I also kept out sleeping with him as I believed it would push Joe over the limit. It felt horrid retelling it to him, not like the relief I felt after confessing to Ashley. Different things were at stake.

"Please say something Joe," I whispered, begging.

"I'm going to take you home, put you to bed and I'll sleep on the window seat. You've had too much to be left alone tonight,"

I winced as he clearly diverted from what is obviously news you'd want to discuss. I would have preferred a blazing argument to this.

"Joe..."

"What do you want me to say Miley? Well done? Or remind you how wrong you have been? I can't tell you anything that you wouldn't have thought of anyway, because I know you. At least I did. I knew something was going on though. I just need time to think it all over. Surely you understand."

We continued in silence. I felt my head beginning to spin and the cold air rested on my chest. I couldn't see clearly and could feel my weakness in my body control. I closed my eyes, hoping everything would just fast forward. I'd skip this mission of trekking home to my inviting bed sheets that smell like Nick. I'd skip to my parents coming and leaving. I'd skip to the part where Joe can look at me. I felt like I was being lifted off the ground. I just kept my eyelids shut and believed this was the sensation of time travelling.

**-x-**

I woke up later than usual, for a Sunday. My day dedicated to homework and house chores. I shuffled round and looked in the mirror. I was wearing a gorgeous dress to sleep in? Then in the corner of my eye I saw a figure lying on my window seat in the reflection. It startled me enough to yelp - which naturally caused them to rise.

Joe. What I didn't understand was he was on my window seat if he stayed the night and not in my bed. And why, oh why, my head was banging.

"Joey, why are you there?" my throat was hoarse but not painful.

He looked up at me, his eyes dark and absent. It was enough to begin a memory flood to break the dam blocking them. Everything came back.

"No no no!" I breathed out and sat on the edge of my bed. Subverting my eyes from his direction. I couldn't believe I told him, willingly. I knew he'd find out eventually, I just hoped I'd be prepared. And I was anything but, with the hangover from hell. I began to push words together in my mind to say, but I didn't have to say them.

Braison crashed in my room, holding the cordless phone in his hands. His eyes were glazed and his face was unreadable. "Two days Miles. They're back in two days."

His words didn't click immediately. When they did, it pushed the headache away instantly. I stumbled across the hangover cure; pure fear. Joe and Nick were so miniscule in terms of issues right now. They were ants next to giants. I began to panic silently.

"Brais, we need to carry on like normal. Let's face it, their two days is probably two weeks. Go and warn Noah alright? But then go to Kurt's or something,"

He nodded and left. I screamed in frustration. It wasn't until I felt a hand on my arm that I remembered my friend. If I could call him that anymore. I looked at him, he clearly wanted to know what my brother meant in his cryptic words, though I'm sure he drew his own correct conclusions.

"My mother phoned, the day before yesterday. They're coming home, more permanently."

Despite his disappointment in me currently, his face broke into a smile. A genuine, happy for me, smile. "Well that's good isn't it? Oh Miles that is-"

"Until _their_ new home is ready,"

Joe wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly.

I knew for certain if Braison hadn't walked in then baring that news, I wouldn't have been back in Joe's arms anytime now, or in the near future.

Despite the relief and comfort, I couldn't help but feel guilty and ashamed at how I'd gotten the easy way out of an awful situation.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry this took awhile. Thanks for the awesome reviews!  
Here's Chapter 16.**

x

Chapter 16

_Behave like normal_. That's what I'd told Braison. My day so far had been anything but normal. Ashley phoned me to see how I was after Friday; she'd seen Joe kiss me, Nick exit and me following. Even without alcohol I felt at ease to confide in her, and she clearly remembered what I told her. We ended up conversing for hours. Me, Miley, the girl who only has conversations of a certain length with someone she's known for years, not days.

I realized, also, that I had to see Nick. To see where I stood with him currently. I hadn't heard of him since Friday. Granted, it was mid-afternoon Sunday but it was killing me had me on edge. So I took it upon myself to go to his house. Unannounced, without a word of warning.

As the door opened, I instantly regretted not telling Nick to be waiting to answer. A man in his late forties was there. Mr. Gray. Pure hatred pumped in my chest, aimed completely at him. More so when he opened his mouth and spoke so pleasantly. There wasn't anything sinister about his tone, or menacing. He had a welcoming smile and looked like someone you just wanted to hug, **a dad**. The only thing that I could find as fault was the smell of vodka on his breath; I just couldn't tell if it was fresh or stale.

"I'm here to see Nick," I managed to reply civilly, rather than screaming blue murder at him.

"Nicholas is in his room. You can go up to him," Something told me he must be sober, or he's want me out of his house.

I entered and walked upstairs. I still, in fact, hadn't been in Nick's room. Yet I knew which was his from the day with Braison. Inside, I could hear him strumming on his guitar. It wasn't anything I recognized. I pushed the door open and watched from there. He was playing a few chords, then pausing to read something or write something, then playing again. He was totally absorbed.

"**Watch your mouth, ohhhh**- no, er - **oh oh oh because your speech is slurred enough that you just might swallow your tongue**..."

I listened as he sang and played. His voice wasn't the most amazing I'd heard, but I loved it. The words were incredible, they were like what I used to receive from the lyricist.

It _was_ one of the parts I'd received. Realization hit me and took me for a fool. It was all there, and perfectly clear. How did I not notice it before?

"It was you," I heard my voice. It didn't sound like an accusation, it wasn't even annoyed or angry. It was a statement.

Nick stopped and looked at me, blushing.

"How did I not work it out? Nick you're so fantastic at writing. It's so sophisticated and witty. And brimming with references to other works. Oh wow," I gushed, and Nick looked incredibly shocked. I was incredibly shocked at my rambling. "Sorry, I sound pathetic,"

He smiled weakly at me, before turning back to his notebook. Leaving me gawping still in his doorframe. My stomach dropped as I realized he hadn't said a word to me and was clearly more interested in an object - and it really stung. I frowned and remained rooted to the floor, unable to do anything. I'm pretty sure it remained like that for ten or fifteen minutes. I wanted to yell at him for it and run home to cry.

"Nick," I said, not able to cope for a second longer "this is about Friday isn't it? You haven't forgiven me. What can I do, or say to make you understand that I don't like Joe?"

"It's not that Mi, at least not anymore. Why did you drink?" he replied, so quietly.

"To forget," I said simply. "My mom phoned,"

Just like yesterday with Joe, the whole dynamics changed. Nick dropped his guitar and wrapped his arms around me, all in a quick moment of moving from the other side of the room. I didn't realize how tense I was before I relaxed. I held onto him tightly, making sure he didn't let go.

As I repeated to him everything she said, I felt Nick tense slightly and I knew he was angry. Just like me, in reaction to seeing his father. We talked about it for a while. I spoke and Nick listened rather. I still couldn't believe how freely I confided in him while I still held a dislike for him. He was too sweet. He was too comforting and understanding. He **loved** me too much.

Then I heard a crash from somewhere in the house. I was going to ignore it and carry on, but Nick let go and backed away completely from our embrace. He looked straight outside his bedroom door, waiting for something - and whatever it was, he heard it. He turned to me, panic dancing in his eyes. All I could hear in the still house were footsteps making their way up the stairs, and Nick's rasping breath.

"**Nicholas!**!" the thundering bellow was all I needed to make me understand.

"Not now. Why now?" I heard him whisper "Mi, hide."

"Nick no, I can't let him-"

"_Now Miley_" he growled. It shocked me enough to make me want to hide from him. I dropped to the floor and shuffled under Nick's bed which was thankfully clutter-free. From here I could see the bottom half of Nick's skinny legs, that were shortly joined by another pair.

"Nicholas where's the vodka?" he slurred.

"You've had enough Dad," Nick said reasonably.

"Come and help me look"

I don't know if it was what he would normally do, but Nick left the room with his father. I'm certain he agreed to look to steer him out of his room, and away from my presence. Knots twisted in my stomach as I stayed there, not daring to breathe in fear of Mr. Gray hearing me, even though he was back on the storey below.

But when I heard the raised voices and the commotion that kicked off, I couldn't remain there, while Nick was getting hurt. I scrambled up and made my way to the door. Yet as soon as I touched the door handle I froze. Nick wanted me to stay here and what could I even do? That wasn't the burning question, no. It was why I cared so much? Why did my heart ache at the thought of Nick hurting?

A time not so long ago, my twisted thoughts rejoiced at the thought of Nick Gray being in anguish. When did that change? It was reasonable to not want it to happen. You wouldn't wish it on anyone. Not even your worst enemy. He was mine.

When I heard clearly the gut wrenching sound of a fist coming into contact with something fleshy and human, I didn't need any more time to question myself. **I knew**. Just like how I instantly ran out of the door and down the stairs. It was adrenaline and impulse. I was too scared to protest at my sudden realizations. They didn't matter.

"Stop it!" I screamed as I saw Mr. Gray's raised hand, ready for the second blow. He turned to look at me and suddenly I wasn't so cock-sure. But I looked past him to Nick.

"What are you doing?" he hissed lowly and I don't think his father heard it, he had slumped into a chair. Nick seized the opportunity to grab me and pull me out of there. He pushed me out of the house and I was certain he was ready to close the door on me and shut me out.

"You can't do this!" I protested, trying to go back inside. Instead Nick came out too, closing the door behind him. I threw my arms around him and hugged him with everything I had.

"Why did you do that? I told you to stay hidden," he was trying to be stern, but I heard the tears "What if he hurt you? What would I have done then?"

I knew his questions were rhetorical and weren't requiring an answer. In response I hugged tighter, until he winced. It was the ribs today.

"You need to go to hospital. They might be broken," I said, letting go so I wouldn't hurt him.

"No I'm fine. You need to go home though,"  
"I do, but you're coming with me,"

Deep down I knew I was fighting a pointless battle. He cared for his father too much to leave him in that state. It was no surprise to me when he shook his head. So I gave in, knowing an argument was the last thing he needed now. I leant up and kissed him softly before turning on my heel to leave.

"Miles," he called after me "this didn't happen okay?"

I understood him, and smiled weakly before continuing. The further I got, the more my sense returned to me. The realization came back, ready for me to ridicule and criticize. It simply was out of the question.

For as long as I am Miley and he is Nick, I would always hate him. He was still the same person, the past was the same.

I'd seen someone else though. Nicholas - I'd seen Nicholas Gray. He was still irritating and insensitive at times. He was however, charming, tender, loving, funny, witty, intelligent and vulnerable. It was his insecurities that made him likeable. I couldn't hate him.

I hated Nick. I didn't particularly mind Nicholas.  
I liked Nicholas as an acquaintance. I liked him as my friend.

It was all wrong though. It changed everything. It confused and frustrated me. Earlier, it broke my heart to listen to that. It felt like a part of me was being abused.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called the first person that came to mind.

I couldn't. _I shouldn't_. **I wouldn't**.  
I can't do it. _I shall not do it_. **I will not do it**.

"Hiya Miles, what's wrong?"

"Ashley, I think... I think that..." I began to sob uncontrollably.

I am certain that I love Nicholas Nick Gray.


End file.
